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A Froggy Story 7/22/2006 12:51:29 PM Once upon a time...
there was a King, Queen and a red-eyed-tree-frog.
The queen had three sons, AJ, Oscar and Walter. 
AJ, Walter, the King and Queen were all cool.
However, as you may have guessed, Oscar was a weiner. 
The story ends in a beautiful enchanted forest, in a castle far, far away from Las Vegas.
However, its begins in Las Vegas, where the King was gambling at the Four Queens Casino.
It seems he drank too many Harvey Wallbangers with Oyster Shooters,
and bet AJ, Oscars and Walter's inheritance on the Roulette table.
Understandably, the Queen was very upset.
Now, as you know, Roulette is a game where you place your bet on one of 32 numbered squares.
If you the Roulette ball  lands on a numbered square that you bet on, you win 30 to one.
Well, the Queen, intent on winning the Kings losses back, placed her Red-Eyed-Frog on one of the squares.
Vegas will let you bet just about anything. The frog kept his eye on the ball as it went round and round the roulette wheel, and when it landed, he jumped onto the winning numbered square.
The casino, not having any red eyed frogs to pay the Queen with, payed her off with a giraffe.
And the King, Queen, frog and giraffe went to Los Angeles in a Volkswagon Bus.
So the story continues.....
Hence upon a time... 
The King, Queen, red-eyed-tree-frog and the Giraffe arrived in Los Angeles
And they hit  the beautiful Long Beach, which is, of course, a very long beach.
Crinoline/bustle from 1867The King belly surfed on his shield of armor, the queen sat on her bustle,
and the red-eyed-tree-frog road on the giraffe's head, while he strolled down the long beach walk.
Then a scream came from deep in the water. 
Jimmy Carter was drifting on a peanut floatee, drinking Billy beer, when he got stung by a Strawberry Jelly Fish. The froggy jumped up and down going ribbi ribbi (he couldn't say ribbit because he didn't have any front teeth). The giraffe reared back like a stallion and the King saw this.
The King, still hungover from Oyster Shooters, guided his belly board over to Jimmy Carter and clipping a Secret Service frogman on the way. The next thing you know, the beach is lined with Swat teams, and a Black Helicopter flopped around overhead.
Understandably, the Queen was very upset.
She placed her diplomatic immunity papers in the frogs mouth, and hurled it up to the helicopter.
The Secret Service read it and dropped the alert.
Then the black helicopter threw a HUGE fishing net out, swooping up Jimmy Carter and the King, 
dumping them on the long beach below.
Quickly, the queen looked through her beach bag, and pulled out a Strawberry Jelly Fish potient.
She put three drops on Jimmy Carter's big smacking lips.
And wouldn't you just know it. It was the wrong potient!
Her potient was for turning Frogs into a Princesses.
Jimmy Carter was now an ugly Princess. 
Realizing he was topless, his arms flailing, he ran frantically to the beach house,
where he was arrested by a security guard and turned over to Animal Patrol.
But everything ended up wonderfully.
Jimmy Carter changed his name to Jamy Carter.
The King, Queen, giraffe and tree-frog all headed for Tijuana (no one knows why)

And the story continues...

Hence upon a time...
The King, Queen, red-eyed-tree-frog and the Giraffe arrived in Tijuana.
When they arrived they saw dragons flying around everywhere with little human legs were dangling out of the bottom of  them. The king and queen freaked out. The giraffe and the tree frog were running around screaming. They were ruining Mexico's celebration parade for "The Day of the Dead".

The excitement was intense. The parade welcomed the giraffe, thinking he was a computerized float made to look like a funky horse's skeleton. The tree frog got separated from the giraffe. He got thrown into the top of a pinata somehow.

Monday, July 25, 2005