- Weightlifting: 'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
- Dressage: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
- Paul Hamm: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
- Boxing: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
- Softball: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
- Basketball: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
- Rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
- Soccer: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'
- Tennis: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them...
Oh my God, what have I just said?'