Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!
Free Puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
Free Puppies: Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound. 
Found Dirty White Dog: Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.
Cows, Calves:  Never bred. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
Nordic Track: $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
Georgia Peaches: California grown - 89 cents/lb.
Joining Nudist Colony: Must sell washer and dryer $300.
Wedding Dress For Sale: Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
For Sale By Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything..