The first book of the bible was Geniuses.
God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an Apple tree.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.
Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
The Jews ate unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. 
Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar.
Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
Mary had Jesus through an immaculate contraption.
When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
Three wise guys from the east side arrived and found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before they do unto you.
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistels were the wives of the apostals.
One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige.