What was hilarious...see, I was editting the same copy of your story...I liked it so much.
HOWEVER, I guess we see what happens in this system when two people are working on the same log record.
Once I figured you were editting it, and thus overlaying any of my mods (I know this editor better), it all came together.
I'll avoid that in the future.
But your story seemed GREAT!
I was doing hilights, and paragraph mods...

BTW: If you do SHIFT ENTER, this editor will drop you down one line instead of two. But the usual way to use it is only to press ENTER when you actually want the end of a paragraph...(weird, I know, its not all my software).