If pro is opposite of con, then Congress is the opposite of progress
Friends don't let friends sleep with ugly people
Beauty is only a light switch away.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then let's get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of her shit.
At the Ego Buffet, everyone is full of it.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
If voting could really change things then it would be illegal.
No wonder you always go home alone.