Bush - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction. 
John Kerry - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
Clinton - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive; with NO memory
Al Gore - Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting
Bob Dole - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
Lewinsky - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back
Mike Tyson - Quits after two bytes
Oprah Winfrey - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB
Ellen Degeneres - Disks can no longer be inserted 
Prozac - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care
Michael Jackson - Only attacks minor files 
Lorena Bobbitt - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy .... then discards it through Windows.