Good : Your wife is pregnant. Bad : It's triplets. Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good : Your wife's not talking to you. Bad : She wants a divorce. Ugly : She's a lawyer.
Good : Your son is finally maturing. Bad : He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly : So are you.
Good : Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there. Ugly : You're in them.
Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids. Bad : You can't find your birth control pills. Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.
Good : Your husband understands fashion. Bad : He's a cross-dresser. Ugly : He looks better than you.
Good : You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter. Bad : She keeps interrupting. Ugly : With corrections.
Good : Your son is dating someone new. Bad : It's another man. Ugly : He's your best friend.
Good : Your daughter got a new job. Bad : As a hooker. Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients. Way ugly : She makes more money than you do