10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
 7 - Give a person a fish & you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and asubstantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.  Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.