| The Female Point System |
| In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. |
| SIMPLE DUTIES |
| +1 | You make the bed |
| 0 | You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow |
| -1 | You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets |
| +5 | You go out to buy her what she wants |
| +8 | in the rain |
| -5 | But return with Beer |
| +1 | You check out a suspicious noise at night |
| 0 | You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing |
| +5 | You check out a suspicious noise and it is something |
| +10 | You pummel it with iron rod |
| SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS |
| 0 | You stay by her side the entire party |
| You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old |
| -2 | school friend |
| -10 | Named Tina |
| -20 | Tina is a dancer |
| -80 | Tina has silicone implants |
| HER BIRTHDAY |
| +2 | You take her out to dinner |
| +3 | You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar |
| -2 | Okay, it's a sports bar |
| -3 | And it's all-you-can-eat night |
| -10 | It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favourite team |
| A NIGHT OUT |
| +1 | You take her to a movie |
| +3 | You take her to a movie she likes |
| +6 | You take her to a movie you hate |
| -2 | You take her to a movie you like |
| -3 | It's called 'Death Cop' |
| -15 | You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans |
| YOUR PHYSIQUE |
| -15 | You develop a noticeable potbelly |
| +10 | You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it |
| -30 | You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts |
| -8000 | You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." |
| THE BIG QUESTION |
| -5 | She asks, "Do I look fat?" |
| -10 | You hesitate in responding |
| -35 | You reply, "Where?" |
| -20 | Any other response |
| COMMUNICATION |
| When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what |
| 0 | looks like a concerned expression |
| +50 | You listen, for over 30 minutes |
| +500 | You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV |
| -4000 | She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep |
Friday, January 1, 2010 8:36:40 AM, From: jim, To: Jokes