I realize I'm about the only person who reads this blog. That's kind of nice. I can say things here that aren't said anywhere else.
My thoughts at the moment are about Music and pictures, both of which I've collected throughout my lifetime.
I have over 17,000 pictures, and 1,000s of songs.
They each have a deep meaning to me.
I was just listening to Don't Speak by No Doubt.
In an instant, I am in my truck, parked at the Mgm Grand garage. That was the moment that I decided it was time to get divorced. Our marriage was dead. Drinking was all we had. My life was propelled by my desires, and hers were restricted by fear. With that combination, our destiny would have been to drink ourselves to death. Without words, a plan was set into action. The plan was to help her find happiness, so I could have mine. It took a year, but it worked. Now she's happy, and now I'm happy. We are still friends. The love wasn't lost. But it was that initial thought began in my truck, in the parking lot of the Mgm Grand, listenning to Don't Speak.
When I hear a song, or see a picture, something amazing happens.
Almost in 4D, my mind puts me in that time. I can smell the flora. I can feel the weather. My emotions match the time.
Even those pictures of when I was only 3 years old, I can remember that kid voice in my mind, with those scrambled thoughts, and its amazement of everything that I assumed would last forever. Lying on the grass, picking clover with my mom stands out. I asked her why everything was so beautiful.
Its easy to forget who we are, and what we stand for.
We are born to be something. We all have our functions to perform. Just what they are isn't quite so clear. But for me, I believe I've done what I was supposed to do.
In this blog, I hope to show a life that has gone by. The ups and downs show in pictures and thoughts.
One thing that should be clear, is, that I was never in control of anything. I was just following the plan that I was born to accomplish.
And the planner is so much bigger than any of us.
There's a universe much larger than the one we can see with our eyes
That universe is in our minds. It defies nature. It can freeze time, and can even reverse it. It can create. It can destroy.
Its where I live in times like now, in the middle of the morning. Thats when I go back and visit all of my loved ones and enjoy moments with them.
It is not insane to remember the loved ones in your mind. It is insane to think they exist in the world outside of your mind.