- Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
- Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- Eat crap in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
- If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
- Never buy a car you can't push.
- If you put both feet in your mouth you won't have a leg to stand on
- Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
- Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
- We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
- A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
- Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much