stories

Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 21:37:12 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
My sweetheart and I are so old that...
She combs her hair back and I come my hair forward, to hide out bald spots.
She sleeps on my side of the bed, and I sleep on hers.
We call each other by our middle names.
I need her bras more than she does.
We quit spoons. Now we sleep like ladles.
When I ask her to go down on me, it's to tie my shoes.
Our sex positions were whole numbers (1..69). Now they're fractions.
I'm kidding. Becky and I are the youngest most rabbit like older couple around. LOL.
Grandpa should have had someone like Becky, yo.

Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 19:33:58 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
I'm so old that...
When I fart, I get up to see who's knocking on my door.
When I walk, I can hear my knees.
I have to trim my toenails with a Dremel.
I have a hat that says "Make Love, Not War".
I think Nixon's tapped my phone.
I blast the stereo so I can hear it.
I have to ask others to read my notes.
I sit on a donut.
I drink Pepsi to burp.
The bathroom is my favorite room and the bedroom isn't.
The voice in my head sings Frank Sinatra songs.
I still think the Monkeys are cool.
I call everybody MAN.

Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 18:51:32 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
I'm so old that...
I told a sales person their mirrors were ugly.
I sort my sock drawer.
I take sink baths and shower my dog.
I pass people with by braking.
I sleep 2 hours at a time, 6 times a day.
I think the TV can see me.
I talk to my dog.
I save stamps and pennys for the investment.
My hair brush has more hair than I do.
I forget where I put my teeth.

Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 16:05:16 (PST) <Mikey, aka: Squirty's Alter-Ego>
Happy Birthday to Jimmy, Happy Birthday to Jimmy
Happy Birthday, my dear buddy.... Gee, I knw your BD was in March, put have been under such at work, I can't even remember when my birthday is. Will talk to you soon....

Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 14:27:39 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
I'm so old that...
The newspaper I was reading turned out to be a Bounty Towel.
I went out to get the mail and got lost.
I went to the store to get memory enhancement drugs and came back with milk.
Three people called to wish me Happy Birthday and I said Great! How old are you now?
I meant to put a lease on my dog, but ended up walking my blanket around the block.
I'm still cooking a three minute egg from yesterday.
I put Colgate in my hair and brushed my teeth with shampoo.
I called 911 to make a donation for the Twin Towers.

Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 12:10:33 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
49 should be a definite turning point in life. 50 more so.
In the last few days, I've witnessed racism, bigotry, greed and injustice.
If I were black, gay or poor, I would be a victim of these unjust people.
I don't know what to think about that.
Rob's sister (Jari) emailed me pictures of Rob and Timmy in Tuxedos
They were at her wedding. It must be rough, losing half your family in one year.
Those two men had integrity. The world is a different place with them gone.
Robert,Joy and Patti came over, wished me happy birthday
Sharon called to tell me happy Jim Day and Allen IM'd me saying the same.
What an interesting day I'm having here. Last year, I baked my own chocolate cake.

Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 07:12:39 (PST) <Jim>
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
I'm 49 today. I should quit telling people I'm 50.
Sitting back in my robe, I'm realizing how much better Expresso tastes at age.
Becky just got up and gave me a BIG HUG singing Happy Birthday.
What a wonderful life it is!
I feel much younger.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 19:17:13 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
At this point, we'd have to talk to a lawyer about this mess.
The judge said if Grandmal shows up and says she worked things out with Becky, they'd take back some of the judgement. But then, Grandmal would owe them $200 a month.
The way that they see it is, they paid Grandma for services and someone has to pay them for their wonderful services.
The judgement that Becky would pay goes to them, not to Grandma!
If Becky had the potential to make good money, I'd seek a lawyer in her behalf. However, I don't see that in her future.
After the judgement was rendered, I made a decision.
That was for us to get as far away from Grandmal as we can. We should not fight a war we can't win. Grandmal has custody. She will use it as leverage to get money from me or the government. She doesn't care about the kids. She's going to kick them out when their 17 anyway. That is her nature.
The real losers of this little war are the kids and Becky
If Becky and I did get married, Grandmal wouldn't give up custody. The kids, Paul, Becky and I are Grandmals free ride.
Becky was giving head when she was five years old because of that bitch. I hate her. If God is on her side, then I hate God.
On the other hand, Grandmal does seem to be doing a great job with the kids. They'd probably be better off in her hands than the hands of an alcoholic.
The logical move would be to get as far away as we can.
I hate the court systems for proving justice is blind.
The scales of justice are tipped in favor of the rich, not the righteous.
Only fools represent themselves in court, so I guess all poor people are fools.
I saw three people get railroaded today in court.
The DA had an assistant. They wouldn't allow me to assist Becky. These people are bully's who pick on the weak and the poor. The more I think about it, the more infuriated I get.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 18:20:22 (PST) <Mikey, aka: Squirty's Alter-Ego>
Oh my Gosh, I can't believe it...
Whether or not the kids spent one of the last ten months they want to collect, what in the hell. I was sure in my mind before I read the results, that there was no way they'd ding her. She doesn't have a job, can't get much more than a minimum wage job, which in itself fine (someone has to do those jobs, and by no means do I judge her by it), doesn't have legal custody and she was kicked out of GrandMal's house. Any way to appeal this kaka judgement?

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 18:00:54 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
You're friend is a real Rhatt Phinque...har har
Speaking about Rhatt Phinques...
Becky and I went to Family Court today
We were the last to be called, but by the first case, I could see what was going on. They were railroading people through the Child Support System.
The first case involved a lady who had one child.
They wanted $200 a month from her, and $4,000 in arrears. The lady explained she had trouble getting work due to her 9 felony convictions. Surprisingly, the lady was very literate. She asked, how am I going to pay anything? I can't get a job. The judge just said, work something out. I can that lady is going to have to commit another felony to satisfy these people. They don't even care about the fathers, it seems.
Becky went up before the judge. They wouldn't let me assist her. Becky told them she had a learning disability.
Becky was in shock. I'm surprised she said her own name correctly. The judge asked her when was the last time she worked. Becky said 3 or 4 months ago. They took $200 a month x 10 months since the case was openned and said Becky owed $2,000. They didn't care that the kids lived with us for one of those 10 months. They didn't care about the molester ex-husband in Arizona.
The Child Support people pray on the weak. The could tell Becky has a learning disability, but they didn't care.
The court went after the sweetest, most loving person in the world, my Becky. I hope there is a Hell to go too when we die. I want to meet them there.
If Becky gets a job in Nevada, they'll nab 25% off of the top.
She will never get out of debt with those people. Becky's always made around minimum wage which isn't enough for a person to support themself. So whats the point.
The want $200 from Becky only for this reason, so Dustin and Jennifer can hang out after school for 1 hour. That's it. They stay in the gym with one lady who looks after 20 other kids. Never mind, that the school is one block away from their house. Never mind, that they are old enough to unlock the door, and someone is always there. Grandma's lazy, selfish and stupid.
And this is the last but not least thing of all...never mind that we had the kids for one of those months and the kids were never once left after school.
In other words, the court fabricated the number and had no regard for the truth.
Like I said, they got their quota and the DA's department has justification to exist.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 17:38:15 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Gas prices around the world...as of May, 2004
$5.29 Frankfort, Germany
$4.86 Rome, Italy
$3.84 Tokyo, Japan
$1.48 Shanghai, China
$1.45 Moscow, Russia
$0.14 Venezuala, Caracus
In Venezuela, oil is produced by a government-owned company and local gasoline prices are kept low as a benefit to the nation's citizens.
Lets take a drive down to Venezuela!
How to never pay full price for gas
Get a Discover Gas Card. If gives you 5% cash back, but that doubles when you make purchases at certain stores.
Shop Non-Brand Name Gas Stations
Most non-brand name gas stations use the exact same product as the brand names. Save a few cents every gallon getting a very similar product.
Use the Right Grade of Gasoline
Premium grade is not the best octane for cars. Read the car manual. See what it recommendeds. My F150 manual recommends 87 octane.
Don't Top Off
Studies have shown that the "top off" usually remains in the hose or is lost to evaporation. Don't bother!
Avoid Sudden Stop and Go Driving
Driving less aggressively will INCREASE your gas mileage. Using cruise control is very efficient.
Tire Pressure
Driving on tires that are not fully inflated can cost you 10% or more in lost gas. Check your pressure once a month.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 14:43:44 (PST) <Mikey, aka: Squirty's Alter-Ego>
What Rhatt objected to was splitting the equity with me.
He refiances his house when appropriate, but not necessarily to take out equity. He's got a decent job paying his bills, so he doesn't need to tap any of the equity. Also, he has no interest in giving me ~$200,000 (half of the equity)... He is a meanie... But a great Rhatt Phinque...

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 14:21:25 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
I wonder why he didn't like the idea of taking equity out of his house.
For me, it was the logical thing to do.
A lot of people like to be cash cows. Me, well, I know I'm going to be a target of litigation.
I've been anticipating the next time my gut blows on me because the doc said it's probable.
My logic before my hospital trip was to keep the money in equity.
The logic seemed correct, since most home loans were 8% and it would have been hard to find an investment that paid better than that. The house would have appreciated whether I pulled equity out or not.
My logic changed after that hospital trip.
Home loans are down 50%. Electric bills are up 100%.
My health insurance was rising higher than all my bills combined.
Go figure!
The economics still has me scratching my head!
But being the logical kind of fellow that I am, I dropped my health insurance and started sucking money out of my equity. Credit worthiness, as I found out, ignores huge medical bills.
For me, it all boiled down to something I said in 1998
I told a doctor I was an alcoholic and what I said spread. I got labelled.
There's nothing like the rush you get when realize an insurance adjustor knows what you told a doctor, by his pushing and asking pointed questions. No one was supposed to know what I said.
Oh well.
Maybe someday I'll give insurance another shot, and when I get rejected, I'll become a sewer instead of a sewee(spelling,har har).
Eat, Drink and Be Merry
If you have less than $200,000 in cash before you retire...
Leverage it out and buy realestate NOW!
Or invest it, make $20,000 a year before taxes, and eat beans, rice and Alpo for dinner.
Or Spend it, and have fun!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 12:27:14 (PST) <Mikey, aka: Squirty's Alter-Ego>
I hate it too.
Gotta make this short. A lot of kaka going by me with this project I am working on. My regards to Ms. Rebecca with this court thing. Tell her to keep a stiff upper lip for me. I also hate it when I mistype and only spot it after "submiting". Had dinner and then drove around west Los Angeles for about an hour last night with Mr. Junk, aka: Gary "The Rhatt Phinque" Robinson. Was loads of fun. Hard to believe I've known that schmuck for nearly 33 years. Only kidding about the "schmuck" comment. Get this Jimmy. He bought his house, near Marina del Rey, for $262,000 a mere 12 years ago. Now, it is apprasied at $680,000... I tried to get him to refi ot take out 100% equity and split the money with me, but he said "Hell, NO!!!".

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 01:21:33 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Yep, I was blogging this morning when I couldn't sleep.
I hate when I read it back and see I missed key words in what I was saying. Still, I like what I said. It was written consecutively, so, I realize reading entries in this blog may seem obtuse.
Sonny, Becky and I ate at Hush Puppies tonight!
For the first time, I ate Alligator tail. Now, I'm assuming that since alligators look like lizards, their tails grow back. I don't feel as guilty about eating tail tail that way.
But Becky had frog legs. She was going to leave 3 of them on her plate. In my mind, I saw 2 frogs, one squirming around a pond, the other doing flips on the shore.
Yuck!
Becky goes to court tommorrow
I'm sure the judge is going to try to scare her. They love to scare people who don't have representation. However, they are idiots for thinking Becky owes $2,000 a month for 2 kids. They are idiots for thinking she makes more than that. These people didn't help Becky get a dime from her ex whose on life time parole in Phoenix. They are lazy, and they are mean.
It should be an interesting day for both of us.

Monday, March 28, 2005 at 07:45:05 (PST) <Squirty's alter-ego (Mikey)>
Jimmy has been a busy Blogger....
Jimmy.. You've written a lot of very interesting (profound) things on your blog this morning, and over the weekend.
Sounds like your Pagan Eastern weekend was fun and fulfilling.
I thought I felt the cold touch of a steel razor run up my back. Must have been when you were sheering Squirty.
As far as how "your" universe is smaller now. If the qualtity is better, it ain't the size you should worry about.
Thanks for everything Jimmy, and also including me in the short list of those you trusted. (I assume, that is, you meant me when you said "Mike", and not Michael Jackson.) You know, I hope, you are the best, I am forever indeeded to you for your kind friendship and kooky times. Well, got to get to work, so I can finish up this kaka and call it quits.

Monday, March 28, 2005 at 07:03:05 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Is it important to know what this life is?
I think that should be one of our most important goals.
For most, this life is simply a ride they're on. Most people don't care how they got on this ride. Most people have illogical explanations of what it is and where it ends.
Our brain has phenomenal potentials.
We have been given access to some truths and we choose to ignore it. I think the answer to what life is, exist in the universe between our ears.
If only in the sixties, the government could have released a drug that actually improved our memory.
Instead, the government released hallucinagenics.
I wonder if memory enhancing drugs do exist somewhere out there. With increased memory, we might be able to leap centuries ahead in one years time. I wish my mind could think better.
For all of us, it is as if we are trying to see our way through life with blurred vision.
I know I'm not smart enough to see the truth. And with my brain, the way it is, I will never see it.
Maybe I should just give up hope, and quit asking my self these kinds of questions.
I'm 49 years old. I've been searching for truth all of my life. I get only fleeting glimpses of it.
The answers can only come by either increasing my lifespan to thousands of years, or by increasing my intelligence. Without a miracle, neither is possible.
My IQ is fixed at 122. My lifespan will be around 76 years old. Neither is sufficient to accomplish my goal of understanding life.

Monday, March 28, 2005 at 06:36:02 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Undying truths. These are the things I've always known existed, but I was afraid to acknowledge.
I knew about Genesis when I was 14. Why was I alone then? Why didn't anyone else see what is obvious about the constructors of the Bible? Why didn't they see that in the first two pages of the book? They thought the world was flat! Even my brother is afraid to acknowledge it.
Undying truths.
Our past, present and future are not real.
The present is an intersection between the past and future. It only exists in a single dimension which cannot exist by itself. We won't be able to grab it until we die.
The past is only what we think it was, at any given moment. It changes with perception. It never was just one thing. It was many things, and it cannot be captured.
The future doesn't exist either. It exists only in concepts.
Perhaps I'm trying to find the beginning of a circle with questions about this reality.
My sister is intelligent, and very insane.
I've wondered how she could have started off with promise, and ended up so happily off balance. I've wondered if it was a single thought that led her onto a trail of thoughts, that led her to insanity.
Being the inheriter of several individual's belongings, I've had the opportunity to review their personal notes. I've read my sisters letters. I've seen her writing styles change over the years. It was as though she was becoming a different person from the one we all knew.
The sixtys seemed to be about living for the moment.
It culminated in the exploration of ones mind and body. Drugs introduced by the government offered the most extreme forms of intraspection. The creative spurts we've seen in the last thirty years were spawned from those mind blowing drugs.
I did them. I saw what seemed to be my birth, the creation of the universe, images buried deep in my subconscious levels. I'd be in heaven, a place of exquisite beauty, then I'd gently fall back to reality. To see the visions once was all it took to change my perspective on this life. Why wouldn't my birth be a part of my mind? The anwsers to everything I wanted to know was in those visions. The questions weren't. The visions had no words and conversation was not possible. They were memories of what happened, and not one of my own creation.
I've shared trips with people who were seeing the same visions that I was. If we saw different illusions, I would conclude we created them ourselves. But when two people share a vision, it takes the vision from being ones own creation into being something that actually exists. One that many people could see.
Relating my sister, time and sanity.
Without the will to remember or the will to create the future, we react with our preconditioned responses.
Lose either of those two things, we become animals. My sister found her heaven inside her mind and she chose to stay there. It was thoughts that started with free sex, hallucinigenic drugs, and complete self absorption that drew her into her own private universe. There was a point somewhere in time when she responded the wrong way to a circumstance. Perhaps it was free sex. Perhaps she knew sex felt good, and she couldn't come up with a reason to have sex with 10 people in the same night.
My sister read a book titled "If it feels good, do it".
It was a book written to change people from social creatures, into animals.
If it feels good, do it, was the one thought that drove my sister into insanity.
It led to a trail of bad thoughts. Each new thought reinforced the first. She went over the edge.

Monday, March 28, 2005 at 00:06:01 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
It may seem that I've been preparing myself for death
But the opposite is true. I've been preparing myself to live.
Death has been a mystery to me all of my life.
I grew up seeing my Dad letting the fear of death control his life. He's 81 now, and still, he regrets the things he had done in his past that will cause him to die a few years sooner.
He was clinging to life and still is.
If only he had embraced death as a friend, maybe if he decided to control it and not leave it to chance, think of all that energy he could have used for something constructive.
To fear death is to waste life.
Why fear the inevitable? Fear is a selfish emotion.
I want live as long as this life pleases me.
I'm not going to quit smoking, drinking, or any of the things I enjoy in this life. I'll only moderate it when it inconveniences me.
I want to ride life's scariest rides. I want to be frightened. And if someone is in trouble, I'll be there, unafraid to help. I don't have a death wish.
If I die tommorrow, it will make no difference. This life and all our possession were never ours to keep.
I will walk through the valley of death and fear no evil.
What difference would that fear make anyway?
I have the power to control my life and I have always been my life's creator. I am responsible for all my misfortunes and fortunes, and I blame no one else but myself. When I die, I will die alone. What I was will never change.
By losing the fear of death, you gain control of life. So lets die tommorrow...or not!
This is why I am the way I am. If helping others leaves me eating out of a dumpster, so be it. I will have been a good power in this universe. The rewards have always been immediate.
BTW - Nothing anybody writes survives long.
Hopefully, what I write in the webblog will survive me. Perhaps, in 300 years, someone bored will read it, and view it as we do a caveman's artwork. I pour my soul into this thing. It won't fade as easily as my body will. This, is my bid for existence in the future.
One last thing. Read Genesis. The first 2 pages. They thought the world was flat!
If you read it with an open mind, you'll see there could be no other explanation for the fourth day to be dividing the universe into night and day. It was a bad guess by the author. The Bible was not written by God, or an inspiration from God. It was written by man, to control people.
Let us not be fooled by others. Let us think for ourselves.

Sunday, March 27, 2005 at 22:24:40 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Trimmed Squirty (Mikey's Alter Ego)
Trimming is not the name for it. Shearing would be a better description.
That dog is a rat with the fleece of a sheep's.
Had BBQ Chicken with Robert, Joy, Amy, David and Charleen came over.
It was a lot of fun. Ill planned but very nice.
Jeannette Arnold called. She took care of me back in 2001.
It's amazing, the people who have stuck with me through the years.
Ruth and I were married on 9/9/1990. We divorced on 1/10/2001. I was surprised it lasted as long as it did. I guess drinking helped keep us together.
After my divorce, I met Jeannette on the Internet. We became instant friends.
But I developed a fistula and had to go to the hospital. Jeannette came down from Sacramento, CA.
Jeannette took care of me during my recovery. We will probably remain lifelong friends.
But You'd think, after being with Ruth for 11 years, she'd keep in touch with me.
I sometimes think our time together meant nothing at all to her.
I let Ruth keep a credit card, sent her money and even paid for her cell phone bill months after the divorce. She wasn't shy about using the card.
I told Ruth I would always love her, and if she ever needed me, any time, any place, I'd be there.
We just couldn't be married anymore. I'd end up dead, she'd end up broke, we'd end up a mess. I broke up so we could survive.
Love, it seems, is rarely spread around evenly. It doesn't even mean the same thing to different people.
My friends today seem to be few.
I trust Sonny, Becky, Mike, Robert, Jerry and Rico. Jeannette, Allen and Ida are in there too somewhere.
My universe has gotten a lot smaller, but it's a lot more stable than the old days.
My world is full of love, its sexy, giving, and consistant as well as spontaneous.
I have a warm life. One that anyone would envy, if they knew about it. I love this life. I love this perspective.
I believe that in this life, we are just a reflection of a greater self.
I believe in death, we'll meet our own spirit.
Here, we have non-interference from the greater powers so it seems.
We have no memory of what we were before being born.
We're smart enough to know that we must have existed before birth, but we're given no idea how.
I think its funny that most people deny the possiblity of our existance before birth.
But from the beginning of time, we were destined to be born. We were here long before birth, from the Big Bang on up. The future has always been set. Our life had to happen simply because it did.
We're smart enough to know that we will have a future after dying, but we have made up stories about that.
Eventually, everything will evolve into one thing, and that will be the thing that started all of this.
At that time, everything will be known. Everything will be as one. And, it'll all happen all over again. The one will divide itselfs into individuals in an attempt to reassemble itself back into something different. The truth is that this moment now can be both referenced as in both the future and the past.
By the time you've read this sentence, it will be the past. The moment will be harder than diamonds.
Our live's are more powerful than the universe. Our live's are eternal in all tenses.
The universe will fade, but we will have always existed, both in the past and future tenses. Time.

Saturday, March 26, 2005 at 17:55:00 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Cool Mikey - Squirts Alter Ego - Paganite
We painted eggs, kind of. Becky got all frustrated because she read the instructions, popped holes in the box, then forgot what she'd read. So, we pieced the box back together, and did our best.
They look kind of cool, but they certainly don't look like the pictures on the box.
Then we ate goulash, or ghoulashes, haha. It was, as usual, very good.
Everyone served themselves. Jennifer couldn't finish half her bowl as usual. Dustin asked 3 times if he finished his bowl yet. Everyone else just plowed in.
Robert, Joy, Amy, Jennifer, Dustin, Squirt and D.O.G. all watched Von Helsing (that's Von Barbie to Grandma), Shark Tails, and some other educational movie.
Of course, Squirt was so busy licking D.O.G's balls to notice anything. D.O.G. slimed Squirt, which was a big ewwwe!!!
Becky, Jennifer and I played games on the computer. Jennifer quit in the middle of a game.
Dustin, who was begging us to play, jumped in. He managed to play 10% of the game before attention deficit disorder kicked in (he said he wanted to watch the movie). He watched the movie for 10 minutes, then attention deficit disorder kicked in again and he went out to play with the dogs. Then attention deficit disorder kicked in again. Now he's back watching the movie.
So, it's been a calamity house over here.
I'm not sure which is louder, the baby crying, the dogs barking, or the big screen TV.
The last thing I can hear right now is that little voice in my head that tells me what to do. I'm afraid to get up and walk around. I might run into a wall or something.

Saturday, March 26, 2005 at 11:22:03 (PST) <Squirty's alter-ego (Mikey)>
I was once a Pagan, but the holiday celebrations got out of hand, so I became an Alter-Ego
Gee, I am running out of entries, that in part at least, are funny to the common human. But, as a dog's alter-ego, I shouldn't expect too much of myself. BARK... BARK... Hope all at Casa de la Cutlar have loads of fun celebrating Easter. Well, the program I am writting is done compiling, so off to work I go... (Testing)

Saturday, March 26, 2005 at 08:18:29 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
We'll beya paintin eggs today
It's a PreEaster day.
We're painting eggs and placing chocolate bunnies in baskets to honor the rising of Christ.
No, we're not honoring Estra, the Pagan God, whose symbols where the hare and the egg. Pagans are evil, we spit on them, hate them. haha.
Seriously though, Becky's kids will be here.
We got them Easter Bags, because I'm cheap. We'll be watching free cartoon DVDs, because I'm cheap. Dinner will be served and it'll be, SURPRISE, boiled eggs!!! Once again, because I'm cheap.
Robert, Joy, Amy and their Dog should be over
They'll be washing their clothes, getting their EMail and enjoying some soda.
It should be a pretty whacked out day here at the Cutlar Castle of Calamity.

Friday, March 25, 2005 at 10:59:58 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
One of my life's heroes
I love reading Dr Abraham Maslow Theories.
If you click on the above link, you'll learn why I like the guy so much. He put the way organisms think, into a hierarchy and developed lists of needs for them.
He called them instinctoids.
The dude was a programmer/analyst and didn't even know it. He would have done well in today's encapsolated programming.
Here's an experimental thought to run through your head:
Two people are standing in a cold pool, the first one pee's.
BASIC PHSYIOLOGICAL NEEDS
Both have the need to find warmth.
The first and second are gratified because they've found warmth in the pee.
The first one has relieved the need for expell waste.
The second one is relieved because he's found warmth.
SAFETY NEEDS
The second wonders where the warmth came from.
The first wonders about being harmed after the second one discovers it was his pee.
BELONGING NEEDS
The first doesn't say anything, he fears he's going to lose a companion.
ESTEEM NEEDS
The second one discovers the pee, and moves away from the other, and gains self esteem.
The first one feels a lack of self esteem, and tries to explain to the second one.
Well, there ya go. This example could go a long way, but, instinctoids make people behave in predictable patterns.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 at 10:50:19 (PST) <Squirty's alter-ego (Mikey)>
I just popped out, but sometimes I still feel soupy....
And I don't mean Soupy Sales... BARK!!!!! I think being a real estate agent would be a reasonable job. Sometimes your days are long, and no have no days off. If someone wants part of your day off to look at a house, or discuss business, you either do it or lose the business to someone who will. I can't count how many times, in the short 6 months I was in LV for the MGM rehost project, that Brian "The Brain" Grady and I would be playing racquetball at 9am on a Sunday morning, and his pager or cell phone would go off and it'd be someone saying "Show me the house NOW!!!". Or at 9pm on any given day. But it does pay reasonably well for not much effort, or sweat. You don't get dirty, and you don't have to break your back. And in a housing market like the Vegas Valley, it is a good opportunity if you work hard enough, you can make really good bucks. BARK!!! BARK!!! BARK!!! I am out of here to go have lunch with Mr. Junk...

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 at 08:24:11 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Why do I like this weblog?
Because, nobody is spamming it yet!
It's like email was when it was young.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005 at 23:09:15 (PST) <Jim>
Are we Dust in the Wind, or Another Brick In The Wall?
I just watched Ladder 49, and those firefighters were bricks
I've been dust for the last few years...but I sure have enjoyed life!!!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005 at 15:58:18 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Uh Uh!!! No No monsewer
Enough cells got together to form something that would be an egg...you, an ovum, and out popped a Mikey!!!
(oh and me the spermatazoa, the fertilizer...har har...)
The human haploid genome contains 3,000,000,000 DNA nucleotide pairs, divided among twenty two (22) pairs of autosomes and one pair of sex chromosomes.
How's everything going? Still working on that program?
Ya know, after 6 bottles of wine (that I'm still paying for after 3 days),
I realize that all I really want to do is hang out with Becky, yo!
Truck driving would do that,
- but the pay is crappy
- and the hours are intense
- and it would be hard to keep Squirt happy.
Programming is an all or nothing type of job
- with its ins and outs, it changes every year
- the next generation of programs will probably written with Hindu nouns!
- and its always going from one dumb language to a dumber one, isn't it?
- I bet the next hot language is going to be called C## or Javava.
- And I'd bet it involves a total rewrite of all things coded, and total learning curve. LOL.
I was thinking we could become porn stars too
- exclusively with each other
- with cameras in every room (like the Truman Show)
- but Robert or Paul might end up seeing it (I'm not worried about Dustin)...
So, I'm leaning towards being a real estate agent! (I've been leaning around a lot, lately, har har)
- Those guys are lazy.
- They lolligag around, seamingly doing nothing,
- Showing people bedrooms, bathrooms and kitchens.
- Becky, with her sweet personality could easily help there
- and I couldn't think of a better place than Vegas to do that either.
- AND, I've bought 5 houses, and never could figure why they're worth 3.5%
Got any ideas?

Tuesday, March 22, 2005 at 11:59:58 (PST) <Squirty's alter-ego (Mikey)>
No, the chicken had to come before the egg.
Think about it Sir Jimmy... Nature will, and has, created numerous forms of life, but never once laid an egg. Well, except when I was born... Bark!! Many animals lay eggs. Out of one of natures great experiments, came an animal capable of laying eggs. That soupy substance, billions of years ago, yielded something like htat chicken. Who, in turn, laid the egg. BARK!!!!! I am brilliant for being a puppy's alter-ego...

Tuesday, March 22, 2005 at 05:51:30 (PST) <Jim>
I guess I'm kind of in a down mood because of my dad
He's dying, but he's been dying all of his life...so.
But he's 82 now, and really might cash in soon.
When I was a kid, I always thought he sounded crazy.
He'd talk about reincarnation, told me he was Jesus, obsessed about death, astral-projection.
Charles Fort, Edgar Caycee, Ekcankar made up his belief systems.
He was always looking for life to be more complicated than what it is.
And now look at me, obsessing about death.
I think life is a cell, dividing and mutating to discover the universe. wow.
Well, at least, what I get into is based on fact and not hallucination.
I guess the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree though.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005 at 00:40:45 (PST) <Jim>
Here's a profound question
Did you ever think that most of your life was decided by you before you were born?
Think about it: what you look like, what color your skin is, what sex you are is all determined on the cellular level before you are born.
Our lives are preordained, in a fashion.
I think the egg came before the chicken, and every 100,000 years or so, and new species of chicken is born.
Bizarre thoughts for a bizarre world.
I should go back to sleep now. ** smiles **

Monday, March 21, 2005 at 23:22:51 (PST) <Jim>
Cool Mikey. We loved that Universal Studios tour
I'm at a point in my life where I'm going to make a turn that may affect the rest of my life.
These times seem so weird to me.
I've made simular turns in the past, knowing exactly the route I was going to take. The decision I make this time will determine the last part of my life.
So many people are living day-to-day. It's incredible isn't it?
I wrote a little story a while back, saying pretty much how I thought the rest of my life would go. Most of it will be in poor health no matter what I do. Most of my energy will be devoted to working.
Why doesn't life have a beautiful ending anyway?
I've seen the wrinkled faces of the people I will look like in 10 years. I've seen senility set in on people. It's too bad the world doesn't share its wealth more evenly. A sheep in a pasture, that's the Bible says.
Anyway, I'll be making a move that will change the course of my life and others who would like to hang with me.
Life will be as interesting and diverse as I can make it.
For whatever purpose this life serves, it should, at the very least, include a good attempt at being good and having fun.

Saturday, March 19, 2005 at 09:38:14 (PST) <Squirty's alter-ego, Mikey>
And when four turns into five or six.
Guess what Jimmy... I have only about a day's work left on that program they asked me to come in and write.
Yea, the one that would have been impossible to write in the 80 hours (hence 2 weeks) they had allocated.
It took two weeks to test because it is sending transactions across to a UNIX box by means of MQ Series. MQ is way too difficult to manage, and specially there at NG. Twenty people have been allocated different responsibilities, so when something does not work, you have twenty people all pointing at 19 others as the one who hsn't down their job.
Now they want me to modify an existing server to send transactions through this same MQ method when a certain class of records change on the application.
OK, fine with me, but I am thinking of telling the boss at NG I can't.
R1 wants to wait too long to pay me, and the only way to pressure them is to get the NG manager (Joe) to call them and tell them to get on the ball.
So, you fell off the wagon for a few days.
Not the worst thing, given you and Ms. Rebecca are in the relax, no work mode right now.
Just got out from my 7:30 am blood donation at the Blue Cross. Or was that the Yellow Cross...
Let me think a minute. Or, that's right it was the Red Cross.
I've been, as long as I am in California, been donating blood regular (5-6x/year) since 1973.
So, I am up to the 3 million gallon level.
Now I am in a Starbucks, getting high on a Frappy.
Going to go a jazz club in the shadows of Universal Studios (where you visited) this evening. Good stuff.
Take care, and remember Squirty is the greatest doggie this side of Mars!!!!

Friday, March 18, 2005 at 06:46:46 (PST) <Jim>
That's a sweet thing!
When two weeks turns into four.
Well, I blew it...fell off of the wagon. It's so fine to have some wine!
Filled up yesterday. It cost $48. That's a big WOW. lol

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 at 12:01:35 (PST) <Squirty's alter-ego (Mikey)>
Preservation is important to us Kanine alter-egos too.
That's why I live within a young, well cared for and loved pup like Squirty. BARK!!! My regards to you Jimmy, and to Ms. Rebecca... Looks like I will be done here at NG this week. Turned two weeks into four... BARK!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 at 10:38:02 (PST) <Jim>
Mankind's highest priority
Preservation of the species.
If not this, then what?
I talk about immortality. I talk about preserving our own individual life. There are ways to live beyond 100 years.
The question is, as individuals, are we worth it?
The answer is yes! You are an excellent representative of the human race. If, in 1,000,000 years, you were to represent us as a race, you'd be a fine example.
Keep being you!
Be the best you can be. Whatever you think, everything you do is a representation of what we were...mankind, the human race. Our race will not survive, but our traces will show our existance had some kind of reason.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 at 08:37:01 (PST) <Jim>
I complain a lot in this blog, but it's important to point out that constructive critism is always a better option.
I watched Bush in a reportive interview. He was good. I'm actually liking the guy now.
He described Social Security, and other issues, as a work-in-progress. In other words, there is no definitive answer for solving the world's ills. As long as the solutions will somehow profit the middle class, I'm for it. We, the middle class, make the world what it is.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 at 06:24:09 (PST) <Jim>
I just finished a part of a program that works with graphics
It got deleted/lost somehow with that last virus, but I was able to grab an old working copy.
Backups are a good thing!!!
This program creates a web page (thumbnails and all) for pictures. We took over 1,000 pictures on the San Francisco trip and so far, this is the best thumbnail/html album generator I've seen. See, the problem with graphics is their names, EG: CAMIMG-J1004.jpg doesn't mean anything to anybody, and when you have 20,000 of them, they get lost in the numbers. I just ran my little program, and took a gander at the album it generated. It's pretty cool!
I went out this morning and got some gas and wine
It's beautiful out there this time of the morning. The sky has hues of blue, yellow and orange.
It's quite a sight.
It's amazing how the brain will take information from your eyes, organize it in your mind, and your emotions will process it as beauty. The pictures we took on the trip could be described as doing that. I suppose visual beauty could be described as something you see, that sparks an emotion, that triggers good feelings. These pictures do that for me.

Monday, March 14, 2005 at 15:46:28 (PST) <Jim>
Hey Mikey, wouldn't it be a nice change if a president just came out and said:
Iraq has what we want, so we're sending your boys in to kill them for it.
You'd think the decent thing to do would be to steer automanufactures towards alternate energy sources that are safer for the environent.
But hey, a hydrogen/oxygen powered vehicle whose only emmission would be water just wouldn't be any fun.
Shoot, lets just let America be dependant on gasolene and kill anyone who doesn't let us guzzle it.
It just bugs me that people died over there and they thought it was about Sadaam stockpiling nuclear weapons. What a load of crap. People died for a ill conceived lie.

Monday, March 14, 2005 at 12:51:59 (PST) <Squirty's alter-ego (Mikey)>
Baby George was put in office for 1 reason, and 1 reason only!!!
To do what Daddy George started and didn't finish or to go to the next step. Bark Bark.. This whole thing is strictly about the oil, and the USA government's desire to control the Iraqi government and commerce. Bark!!! Amazes me that he and his group of chronies don't see what the rest of the world sees. And it is this behavior what makes people like bin Laden hate us so much, that they'd go through the effort of 9/11/2001.

Sunday, March 13, 2005 at 22:22:04 (PST) <Jim>
Does anyone else think this is strange?
The war in Iraq was definitely about oil and not some ogre who was killing his own people.
Ogre's are doing that all over the world in Third World Countries.
Iraq is the second largest producer of oil in the world!
Here's what I think is strange:
We win the war in Iraq.
We get all of our people in place to control things.
And the gas prices in the United States sky rocket!
Doesn't that seem strange? Who was that war being fought for? Who is profitting?
I've heard a lot of BS from the Bush administration, and don't believe anything that man says anymore.
Who Is Bush Working For?

Sunday, March 13, 2005 at 19:44:50 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Ah yes...Chuck got himself a motorcyle!!!
It's really cool. His friend (Chris) bought a Harley, but it's a moped. I got a real kick out it! It's funnier looking than my blonde hair!
Both bikes are extremely cool.
Ahhh...to get undressed and quietly slip onto the couch
There aren't any words that can describe the freedom and comfort for being naked and unembarassed.
NUDITY ROCKS!!!

Sunday, March 13, 2005 at 16:57:49 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
We changed the living room around. I'm back to 5 networked PC's now.
Time to play games and enjoy life for awhile.
We rearranged the living room with peoples left over furniture and it looks better than ever.
Robert and Joy came over, then went to Grandmals. AND, Robert just called asking me if I could do another load for him.
Wow. And I was just about to relax. I'd make a terrible furniture mover.

Sunday, March 13, 2005 at 15:55:14 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Yesterday, we finished moving Robert and Joy into their 2nd floor apartment.
Ahhh...so sweet.
I was gone most of the day while Jennifer and Dustin hung out at the house watching kiddy flicks. Everything worked out pretty well. I took them over to see Robert's apartment, then finally home at 10pm. The day was done. I could finally get naked.

Saturday, March 12, 2005 at 00:09:58 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Today was another day of moving Robert and Joy into their 2nd floor apartment.
I had very few hassles. I only hurt a little bit. I've made some muscles. I'm broke. And I can't spel wuth a shet. Seriously, we've only got one more day of moving big items. Finally, for the first time in 4 years, we're alone in this house. I don't have to worry if my robe is open while watching TV. Matter of fact, I can watch big screen movies naked! YEAH!!! Oh, and I get to move a TV back into the main bathroom.
Las Vegas Real Estate is AMAZING!!!
We were driving around to see what all was near Robert and Joy's new apartment.
Somewhere along the way, we entered into what looked like a new townhouse complex.
They were houses!!! Each house was 3 stories on about a 600 square foot foundation.
The first floor had a single car garage built into it, but you'd be challenged to fit 2 motorcycles in them.
The side yards were small. You couldn't navigate a bicycle through them if you wanted to.
The backyards are smaller than most cemetary plots.
And the houses were cheaply constructed: made from stucco, chicken wire, 2x4's and sheet rock.
I saw a man, who looked like he was of Chinese ascent, sitting on what was supposed to be a front yard, but I'd call it a misplaced strip of turf.
I stopped for the heck of it and asked the man, what the houses were selling for.
He said the new ones were selling for $250,000, but he paid an extra $15,000 for a corner lot! I wanted to ask him how to say "Don't sit on sharp sticks" in Chinese, but I passed.
He must have been bending over when he signed his purchase agreement.
It just goes to show you, if you put sugar on shit, someone will buy it.
This is the second time I've typed in this silly Weblog.
Becky was playing games on my server, windows popped up, she closed them and I, being on the servers network, lost 20 minutes of work, which sux. I've already lost 4 days reloading that PC because someone invited a virus in.
SO...I moved another computer desk into this already crouded living room, put a monitor on one of my laptops and now she's happy.
I'm never going to let anyone else ruin my 50 gig backup again. The PC/Server is now off limits. yes.
Robert just popped in to pick up an alarm clock.
He's got to go to work at 6am. Yippeeee! We get to rest tommorrow. I can sit around and watch cartoon movies with Becky's kids all day.
The neighbors gave me a nice looking gas stove today.
Good deal. It looks new, except it needs to be degreased and the gas jets cleaned. I love other peoles junk.

Friday, March 11, 2005 at 20:15:40 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Other Celebrities who died from overdoses:
- John Belushi, of SNL, heroin and cocaine speedball.
- John Bonham, of Led Zeppelin, alcohol.
- Steve Clark, of Def Leppard, alcohol.
- Tommy Dorsey, alcohol.
- Brian Epstein, sleeping pills.
- Chris Farley, of SNL, cocaine and heroin.
- Judy Garland, of The Wizard of Oz, sleeping pills.
- Andy Gibbm, of the Bee Gees, pills and heart problems.
- Bobby Hatfield, of the Righteous Brothers, cocaine and heart problems.
- Jimi Hendrix, musician, barbituates and alcohol.
- Billie Holiday, heroin - Brian Jones, of the Rolling Stones, drowned during an overdose.
- Janis Joplin, musician, heroin and whiskey.
- Marilyn Monroe, actress, sleeping pills.
- Jim Morrison, of The Doors, alcohol.
- Pamela Morrison, Jim Morrison's widow.
- Christina Onassis, daughter and heir of Aristotle Onassis, diet pills.
- River Phoenix, actor, numerous drugs.
- Dana Plato, of Different Strokes, suicide overdose of valium and loritab.
- Elvis Presley, musician, pills and/or other health issues.
- Bon Scott, of AC/DC, alcohol.
- Will Shatter, of Flipper, heroin.
- Hillel Slovak, of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
- Vinnie Taylor, of Sha Na Na, heroin.
These people could have afforded all of the pleasures this reality can offer.
Why would they seek a drug induced stupor?
That's a question that I can't personally answer.

Friday, March 11, 2005 at 19:59:32 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
The SNL character's name was: Chris Farley
He died at the ripe age of 33 from an overdose of heroin and cocaine.
His idol, John Belushi, was also a star on SNL.
John Belushi died at the age of 33 from an overdose of heroin and cocaine.
Could it be coincidenxe or was Chris paying homage to his idol?
Or, does the Saturday Night Live staff get their energy and wit from speed balling before each set? Hmmm....
Inquiring Minds Wants To Know

Friday, March 11, 2005 at 09:22:18 (PST) <Squirty's alter-ego (Mikey)>
I always admired that SNL character and his work as a speaker on SNL.
Even better was his huge gut. Even bigger than mine... Where be Joy and Robert moving? An estate in Summerlin? Gotta get back to work. Mr regards to Ms. Rebecca...

Friday, March 11, 2005 at 05:14:07 (PST) <mugu>
very nice effort you made.keep it on please

Thursday, March 10, 2005 at 08:40:49 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Thanks MIke. You are a very effective inspirational speaker.
And you're not sleeping in your clothes, living in a van down, by the river - SNL! LOL
For the 7th time in 13 months, I'm helping someone move.
What a guy...Here's the list
- Skip coming
- Mike leaving
- Chuck
- Patti
- Joy's Dad
- Skip leaving
- and now Robert and Joy.
What a great guy!!! I wish I felt great.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005 at 09:39:45 (PST) <Squirty's alter-ego (Mikey)>
Stay positive Mr. Jimmy
Yea, I think Ghost would be a good thing to load up as soon as you are happy with your system. Take a snapshot of the disk and system settings, etc. Then all you have ot do is reformat the hard drive and restore a minimal amout of stuff and you computer is as good as new. And Ghost, or it's cometitive software, is relaticely cheap and easy to use. Jimmy. Keep positive as far as Bellagio is concerned. Remember, you have a great rap there in Lost Wages. But you probably still need to make them aware you're more interested in the position than anybody else. With out being an arse, bug the kaka out of them. You can't wait and see any more. Even with your great reputation. Mikey, your greatest fan....

Tuesday, March 08, 2005 at 23:00:35 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Alrighty. My PC is reloaded.
It's not quite all the way there yet, but its 90% restored. The other 10% I'll have to key in...bummer.
Mikey mentioned installing Norton Ghost, which sounds good to me.
Today was another day waisted on the computer. Hopefully Bellagio will contact me about their Software Engineer openning, but I'm not counting on it. 20 years of experience isn't worth much when you've been off for 4 years (like me).
Anyway, there's always truck driving. Using this house as a rental, should net a nice annual income. I'm babbling...

Monday, March 07, 2005 at 09:17:37 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Hey there, everybody
We got back from our trip just to find my main computer had a million viruses on it.
I'm having to wipe it out and reinstall everything which makes me wonder why I even bother.
This the question I'm asking myself right now:
If you have security on your system,
if it takes someone a minute to install a trojan
if it takes you a week to put everything back after your system is trashed
should you let anyone use your Personal Computer?
I suppose the answer is obvious.
This is the third trip we've taken in a year, and the third time I've had to reload my PC. Each time, the house caretakers said they never did anything.
Two things about people who download viruses and don't think they did it:
1) If they don't realize they did it, they'll never know what they did, and they'll do it again.
2) If they aren't smart enough to understand how viruses infect PC's, then they're probably viewing porn, trying to get something for free or playing games on sites they've never been to before. They will infect PC's whereever they go.
The problem is not the internet, a crappy PC, someone else being on the computer, or something that just magically happened by itself. The problem is them. They need to be educated.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005 at 08:08:14 (PST) <Squirty's Alter-Ego (Mikey)>
Hi Jimmy and Ms. Rebecca
Jimmy... Watch out, you misspelled Sacramento all over. It's an "a" after the "Scar". Governor Arnold will first beat up you and then will tear down your web site if you are not careful. We Californians take these things seriously!!!! Nice picture of Lake Tahoe. Gotta be the most beautiful place I've ever been. I have driven entirely around the lake before. Long drive actually, given you can't go that fast. An absolutely great Italian restaurant on the north shore of Tahoe. I've been to Tahoe in JUNE and there was a light snow. So, it doesn't surprise me that your truck was covered in February..

Tuesday, March 01, 2005 at 11:46:42 (PST) <robert>
hey guys
Hey thats great you can come back anytime you want no prob over here we will stay until you get back we are really enjoying areselves and the peace without grams lol, anyways make sure you take lots of pics lol we wanna see hehehe. Well guys love ya much ttyl

Tuesday, March 01, 2005 at 02:17:44 (PST) <Jim Cutlar>
Thanks Robert
We'll be back around 8pm Wednesday night, if that's cool.
If you two want to take off that's cool, the dog feeds himself, and everything else will take care of itself. But if you guys wanna hang out...THAT'S GREAT!!!
In the last two days, we'll have seen 2 Capitol buildings...Sacremento's and Carson City...YEA!!!

Tuesday, March 01, 2005 at 00:27:14 (PST) <robert>
hello
Hi Jim and Mom it seems the trip is very awesome anyways there is no rush take your time on your trip, tommorrow (tuesday) is paday yahoo but its all prob going to go torwards the apt well love you and chat to you later byebye