|Created: 8/5/2013 4:54:51 AM|
05/18/2006 01:12:48robert dumb labels lol
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief
05/18/2006 10:32:42Jim (Reply).dumb labels lol
On a bottle of 100% pure water, Orange flavored.
If that's true, then couldn't 7-Up 100% pure water, Carbonated with Sugar flavoring.
Couldn't 100% pure orange juice be called 100% pure water, with orange participates added...
05/02/2006 12:05:11robert .Citizenship Test
I scored 7 i am a true citizen
04/21/2006 19:58:29Jim Hey Robert...I changed the log crap
hehehe...Just dinking around at night when I can't sleep because of coughing...
Its kind of neat though...
See ya tommorrow
04/07/2006 19:16:46Jim Hey there Robert!
We ordered Jennifer a 24" MGX Bike today for her birthday. Do you think thats too big?
04/05/2006 12:27:15robert the 90s how i miss them
Anybody under the age of 15 should not read this, and if you should, you should not repost this. Just because you were born in '92 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the nineties just wont cut it.
You're a 90's kid if:
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH!"
You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"
You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.
You know that "Whoa!" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got excited when it was Oregon Trail day at school.
You got a new "Goosebumps" book every month.
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"
You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You danced to "wannabe" by the Spice Girls, and...
...females had a new motto, and males got a whole lot gayer.
You remember the craze and subsequent banning of slap bracelets and slam books.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence... Not!
You played "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" at school and then went home to watch it on TV.
Captain Planet. Enough said.
You knew that Kimberly, the Pink Ranger, and Tommy, the Red Ranger, were meant to be together.
To the last sentence you said "Hey, Tommy was the green* ranger!"
Then you said "And he was the White Ranger!"
When playing Power Rangers with friends, you fought over who got to be who...
...and still all ended up being Tommy.
"The Console Wars" referred to Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis.
You watched Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York... and tried to pull the pranks on your "intruder" siblings.
"I've fallen and I can't get up!"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
Two words... Trapper Keeper.
You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide
You wore socks over leggings scrunched down
"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show
You played your tapes on a boombox.
Your favorite song was "The Right Stuff" by New Kids on the Block...
...and when Joey McIntyre was on Dancing With the Stars, you felt like he was a real celebrity.
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
You played and or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere
You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles
Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You begged your parents for a new Beanie Baby every week.
You remember a time before the WB.
"Are You Afraid of the Dark?" was the scariest show ever.
You know the Macarena. (BPB people automatically get this one :-p)
"Talk to the hand."
You hoped Brain would finally take over the world.
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You wondered why the plastic Slinky didn't make it down the stairs like the metal one.
When we were younger...
We all wanted L.A. Gear... and L.A. Lights
You weren't allowed to get British Knights (BK) shoes because they looked like gang shoes.
We rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
Gas was $0.95 a gallon and Caller ID was a technological revolution.
We recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.
We called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.
2Pac and Biggie were still alive.
The Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.
We had something called The Dream Team.
The phrase "Get Over Here!!!!" means something to you.
Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.
Red Light, Green Light.
Heads Up 7 Up.
Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.
"POWER OF LOVE" BY CELINE DION..ONLY COUPLES COULD SKATE TO THIS.
Annoying Nano Pets & Furbies.
When Mufasa died in The Lion King, you cried... in a movie theater.
Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.
Squeeze It and CapriSun
Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, Fairy Princess comforter.
Woody Woodpecker and Chilly Willy
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
More specifically, Bulk and Skull and Ernie the Juice Bar guy
Garfield and Friends
Or what about:
The Secret Life of Alex Mack
Ren & Stimpy
Family Double Dare
Rocco's Modern Life
Aaahh! Real Monsters
Wild & Crazy Kids
Clarissa Explains it All
Salute Your Shorts ("Caaaamp Anawaaaanaaaa...")
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
The ORIGINAL cast members of All That.
More specifically, "Vital Information" with Lori Beth Denberg.
The Magic School Bus
The Adventures of Pete and Pete.
Legends of the Hidden Temple.
Pinky and the Brain.
Hangin' With Mr. Cooper.
Bill Nye the science guy!
Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood!
Who could forget Snick?
And the original Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Get Smart, The Facts of Life and I Love Lucy.
Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.
Nick Jr... with Face
Gullah Gullah Island
Under the Umbrella Tree
Pee-Wee's Mother-F'ing Playhouse
The Big Comfy Couch
Go back to the time when:
Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.
When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.
When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.
When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.
When Toys R Us was cooler than the mall.
Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'
'Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being "old" referred to anyone over 20.
A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.
Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.
Where the best form of protection was "circle circle dot dot now I've got my cootie shot, circle circle square square now I've got it everywhere"
It was a big deal to finally be tall enought to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.
When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.
When Ninja Turtles ruled the world. Who'd have thought you'd miss the 90s so much?
01/28/2006 23:14:42robert hello
testing testing cant wait for that buetiful day to se u guys again it will be so awesome
11/15/2005 03:59:38robert why do people say whites are racist
You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.
You call me "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and even "The Man" and you think it's OK.
But when I call you, "Nigger", "Kike", "Towelhead", "Sand-Nigger", "Camel Jockey", "Beaner" or "Chink" you call me a racist.
You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi
You have BET.
If we had WET(white entertainment television) we'd be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day you would call us racists.
If we had white history month, we'd be racists.
In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights.
If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.
You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it.
But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.
You call each other "niggas", but when we call you that, you call us racists.
You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us.
But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.
I am white.
I am proud.
I am an American.
But, you call me a racist.
Why is it that only whites can be racists?
11/07/2005 20:28:12becky My Son
Go to my log.
11/07/2005 06:10:45robert hello
By the way Jim and Mom that was me on the last line if you could change that from guest to my name thx love you all
11/07/2005 06:04:04Robert hello ... Thinking and Wondering
Hey guys how are you. How was the interview Jim?
Ok well mom this is for you...
I was sitting here in bed thinking about the past and, telling Joy some of our stories.
I hate to bring this up but it makes me feel sad and it's something I couldn't let go of until now.
I remember when we lived in the U-Mom family shelter.
Do you remember? I am having a problem.
I seem to be drawing a blank on that. I would love to know, was Renee and the kids with us?
I remember the time I was robbed.
They didnt find the money that was in my sock, but they took my jersey and watch. Dustin was with me.
Its sad thats the only time i remember about that time.
I was wondering if you could please share some stories with me about that time some good ones.
It really sux not remembering anything about that time.
Renee if you remember any please share, thx. I'd greatly appreciate it.
Well here goes the part that I feel really bad about and has been a burden for me for a while.
Remember when I got social security. I got $480 a month. Well this is my lesson to me i guess... I remember one time we got that check and we needed some things, but I went roller skating and you told me to only take $20. I remember taking more than that, something like around $100 to $200 that day. I was being selfish and dumb. I spent it on candy and bought everybody things. I cant beleive I did that. It really hurts and know I actually see how money can make you greedy.
I feel so bad about that because we were in a life time crisis. I mean, to look at us, you didnt have a job, the 5 of us living in a studio apartment with 2 twin beds. We had a little tiny portable refrigerator to hold everything for us. I dont even think we had a stove. We had a very small TV. Thats what I remember about that time and I was selfish in a time when we needed that the most. I couldn't imagine how you felt at that time of despair. You were trying to take care of us 4 living off of $480 a month taking care of us loving us and being their for us.
I think of it like, wow, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU DID AND FOR THAT I AM GREATFUL.
Sorry I'm crying right know thinking of how hard that was but yet we survived because of you. Mom I love you. Thank you.. I want to know how you felt, what it was like for you. I am sorry for bringing this up but I am expressing to you how much I love you.
Please, don't think it was your fault for losing us kids to CPS either. It wasn't.
It was Renee and my fault for that, we are the ones that told the school what was going on, like you smoking and hiding it from us wow you smoke so what, you know that wasn't your fault, and you spending time with your freind. You weren't even gone for long maybe an hour visiting. Renee and I told the school it was longer I believe but please forgive us it wasn't you. But I do admit thinking about it I realized you had it hard and I thank you for helping us stay as one and saving us and being the best mom you can be.
I admit the shelter and the day CPS took us on Thanksgiving was the hardest.
I was up all night long crying thinking of you and missing you and how much I hated it back then.
I beleive thats how my anger started to grow. I think it was by me holding all that frustration in about CPS and what they did to our family. It was not your fault mom I dont want you to ever think it was ok. You tried so hard. They just wanted to pick on someone that they knew they could win with. I can't imagine that. Now I am a father, and it would tear me up inside prob like it did you. But you were very strong and fought through it, for that I love you. I honestly don't now if I could be as strong and have as much will like you did for us. I Love you mom. thank you very much mom. I am glad I got that all off of my chest. I have been holding that in so long. I am just saying I love you and you are appreciated.
11/05/2005 03:27:19Robert hey people and family lol.
Hey peeps Renee I love your spelling lol reminds me of someone we both know (Mom) lol hahaha and jim things wont get any (worsser) lol lmbo. hahaha anyways today was a good day at work just cruised around town picked scissor lifts and skip loaders up what a fun nice day weather is great down here still hasnt gotten cold enough to wear a jacket but just a bit nipply lol. well love (U-ins) lol which is you all plus 3 thats what that is lol lmbo hahaha
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