If you weren't aware, Hinckley shot Ronald Reagan in the 80's. He wanted to get Jodie Foster's attention.

To: John Hinckley
From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. 
In our country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know that we bear no grudge against you for shooting President Reagan. 
We are fully aware that mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We're confident that you will soon make a 
complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive man.

 Best wishes,
 Nancy Reagan & Family

P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado.  You might want to look into that.

1. Why do I have to 'Press 1 for English?'
   Every American
2. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep,
   Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.'
   Author Unknown
3. If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
   'Take two aspirin' and 'Keep away from children.'
   Author Unknown
4. 'Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that.
   It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.'
   Drew Carey
5. 'The problem with the designated driver program, it's not desirable ,
   But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it.
   At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.'
   Jeff Foxworthy
6. 'If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will save the Infant's' life without considering if the bases are loaded.'
   Dave Barry
7. 'Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and We should treat it like one.
   If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.
   And the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.'
   Bob Ettinger
8. 'My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took Her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach anything!''
   Paula Poundstone
9. 'A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men.
   I just want to say to the Authors of that study: 'Duh.'
   Conan O'Brien
10. 'Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant??
    I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my Gosh.... I could be eating a slow learner.'
    Lynda Montgomery
11. 'I think that's how Chicago got started was a bunch of people in New York said,
    'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just I sn't cold enough. Let's go west.''
    Richard Jeni
12. 'If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the Impersonators would be dead.'
    Johnny Carson
13. 'Sometimes I think WAR is God's way of teaching us geography.'
    Paul Rodriguez
14. 'My parents didn't want to move to Florida , but they turned sixty and that's the law.'
    Jerry Seinfeld
15. 'Remember in elementary school, you were told
    'In case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest.'
    What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?'
    Warren Hutcherson
16. 'Bigamy is having one wife or husband too many.
    Monogamy is the same.'
    Oscar Wilde
17. 'Suppose you were an idiot.
    And suppose you were a Member of Congress..
    Did I just repeat myself.'
    Mark Twain
18. 'Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student.
    At least they can find Afghanistan '
    A. Whitney Brown
19. 'You can say any foolish thing to a dog, And the dog will give you a look that says,
    'My Gosh, you're right! I never would've thought of that!''
    Dave Barry
20. Do you know why they call it 'PMS'?
    Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was taken.
    Unknown, presumed deceased
21. 'Everybody's got to believe in something.
    I believe I'll have another beer.'
    W. C. Fields