Every generation, blames the one that came before. And all of those frustrations, come beating on your door.
I know that I'm a prisoner, to what my father held so dear. I know that I'm a hostage, to all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him, in his living years

Crumpled bits of paper, filled with imperfect thought. Stilted conversations, Im afraid thats all we've got.
You say you just dont see it, he says its perfect sense. You just cant get agreement in this present tense
We all talk a different language, we all talk in defense
Say it loud, say it clear. You can listen as well as you hear. Its too late when we die, to admit we dont see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel, between the present and the past. We only sacrifice the future, its the bitterness that lasts
So dont yield to the fortunes, you sometimes see as fate. It may have a new perspective, on a different day
And if you dont give up, and dont give in...You may just be o.k.

Say it loud, say it clear. You can listen as well as you hear. Its too late when we die, to admit we dont see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning, When my father passed away
I didnt get to tell him, all the things I had to say.

I think I caught his spirit, later that same year
Im sure I heard his echo in my babys new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear. You can listen as well as you hear.
Its too late when we die, to admit we dont see eye to eye
-- In memory to my late father Louis "Lou" Cutlar ---

I was getting used to him calling around twice a week. And on the trip to and from Florida, we seemed to be talking most of the way on my cell phone. Its sad to lose someone.
When someone who you grew up with dies, you realize you are the keeper of those shared memories.
Its bizarre how the mind behaves as the memories we have become more pronounced when they are fading away.
The most profound thought I had about dad's life was that house he built in rural Kentucky.
It had a colonial style to it, and it was the only one like it there when he built it in the 1970's.
When I went back in 2005, the whole neighborhood matched his design. There was at least a square mile of simular styled houses.
Dad had told me he didn't feel like he'd really accomplished anything in his life.
Isn't it odd, that his, just building another house, could have had such a far reaching affect?

But instead, Jennifer, Joy, Amy, and Dustin hung out...Robert went with someone else.
It was a fun day!

Adopted and ratified in 1791, the Bill of Rights are:
First:
- Prohibits laws establishing a religion.
- Bans laws which would restrict freedom of religion, speech, press (now interpreted as covering all media)
- Gives the right to peaceably assemble and petition the government.
Second:  Authorizes a well regulated military. Construed to be the right of individuals to bear arms.
Third: No quartering of soldiers in private homes without the owner's consent.
Fourth:
- No unreasonable search and seizures,
- No warrants without probable cause.
- Warrants must be affirmed by a judge and describe the place to be searched, the person or things to be taken.
Fifth:
- A Grand Jury must be held for capital crimes of felonies except under martial law in the time of war or "public danger"
- No person may be tried twice for the same offense;
- No one may be compelled to be a witness against himself
- No one can be deprived of life, liberty or property without "due process of law"
- No taking of property for public use (eminent domain) without just compensation.
Sixth:
- Right to a speedy and public trial
- Impartial local jury
- Information on the nature and cause of accusation
- Confront witnesses against him, right to subpena witnesses,
- The right to have counsel.
Seventh:
- Juries may be demanded in civil cases (over $20)
- The jury shall be trier of the fact in such cases as required by Common Law.
Eighth:
- No excessive bail, excessive fines or "cruel and unusual punishment."
Ninth: Stating these rights shall not be construed to deny that other rights are retained by the people.
Tenth: Powers given to the United States and not prohibited to the states, are reserved to the states or to the people.

I guess thats a good word for it. I used to talk to my Dad maybe twice a week.
Now he's gone. I suppose depression would be a good description for the way I feel.
I just want to sleep all the time. I've lost all motivation.
Help!

Robert and Joy came over. Dustin and Jeniffer stayed over. Me, I just poked around. We switched from DSL to COX cable. The guy did a terrible job, so I had to redo it. Nothing worked, not the phone, not the TV, just the internet. Sheesh.

Plato wrote in his "The Republic"
Each member of a society ought to do what they are best at and be alleviated from responsibility of those things they are not good at, which can be done by others.
I often wonder what kind of world this philosphy would create.
How would it be, if Johnny started school in the fifth grade, past the grade of his olderer sister in the second?
I think right now, capitolism and free enterprise tries to allow us to find our own levels in society. And I wonder how well that is working.
To me, the levels we find still seem to be determined by wealth and locations that present opportunity; and not merit.
Brilliant minds are rarely discovered in Podunk and feeble minds often have highly financed degrees.

I miss Dad's calls. He'd probably be calling me about now today.
He was such an interesting soul.  He gave me inspiration.
Please note, I'm not saying these things in a bad way.
He thought the pyramids were built by Ufo's
Its easy for us to assume the pyramids were built by 200,000 slaves in a hot desert.
Its nice his thoughts challenged that assumption. Who really knows how they were built?
He thought you could beat the stock market with a $49 program.
Its probably possible to beat the stock market with a computer program, if I wrote it and hacked the security codes.
Its always seemed to me that if you could change the time of a stock transaction, you could always beat the system.
After all, isn't that why insider trading is illegal....they can buy or sell the stocks based on what the public doesn't know yet.
But besides all of that, I worked for Bank of America. I had the power of god over their systems.
I'm just honest to the point of stupidity.
He thought that I am a  loser.
I am a loser in many people's eyes. I haven't worked in 6 years. I've been a drunk and a drug abuser. I'm not filthy rich.
I haven't fit into society's normal standards for life. What I'm saying is, I'm far from a normal person.
What bus boy buys a condo when he's 20 years old.
What person do you know thats supported over 47 people for 3 months or longer.
When my neighbors went broke, I ran an extenstion cord and a hose over to their house, so they could survive.
Among the people I haven't supported are probably the ones I should have.
I haven't supported my oldest sister, Linda, or my next oldest sister, Kelly.
They both need help. I would assume they need it badly too.
I offered to pick Kelly up in Texas and give her a free place to stay. She turned me down.
Kelly needs help, is probably suicidal, and has a substance control problem. I think she's burned every one thats ever tried to help her. Its sad, that so many people want to help her, but she insists life is against her.
She's created her own personal hell, and has chosen to live in it.
As far as Linda goes
Sonny and I gave her a place to stay back in the 70's at the condo. She moved in with my Mom. They had to ask her to leave.
Sonny took her back in, and she burned him. She'd bring in the dregs of society, would leave the windows wide open in the winter time...she just didn't care about anyone but herself. He had to kick her out. She left him no choice. That was in 1988, I think.
Since then, I'm the only person who's ever tried to find Linda.
She is quite insane, but, I think she could be controlled.
The point with Linda is, she tends to get married for money. She helps people from other countries become US citizens. Theirs no telling what her last name is now. My guess is, she's not even alive. The last address I found for her was in Twin Falls, Idaho. But, she has no checking account, no phone, no library card and no internet access. She's an enigma.

I asked him how he enjoyed his life.
He told me he was free. He ate well. He did whatever he wanted to do.
He said, sure, some times were tough, but for the most part, he had no complaints.
He said he had kids, was married, had a good paying job, but he wasn't happy.
His kids hated him for working all the time. His wife constantly criticized him, and she had affairs.
His job was mundane and unappreciative.
He decided that his life was being wasted.
He decided that the people he loved didn't care about him.
He realized he had no reason for loving the people he thought he cared about.
He took off one day, and never came back.
He discovered how easy life could be if you just let it happen.
Then, he read me an article he found in a newspaper.
It was about the economy, and he commented on it. He was well educated and very articulate.
I realized he was much more intelligent than I was. He had chosen his life, and he was living free.
Compared to my life back then, I was working 6 day a week, 12 hours a day.
My best posssession was a 1972 Mazda Rx2. I had a beatiful girlfriend, but I knew we were destined to go separate ways. All of my friends in Las Vegas were passer bys. My concept of happiness came in the forms of drugs and sex. If I had a goal, it was to have sex with as many women as possible.
Its hard to say whose life was better, them man in the dumpster, or me, drinking a beer watching him scavenge.
I suppose it doesn't really matter does it?
We both considered ourselves to be happy.
The difference between the two of us was he was honest about his nature.
I was drowning out my nature with drugs, alcohol and sex.

We entered the airport with 2 bags, one box, and a violin. The checked us in, but said I had to wait while they checked my baggage. I asked why me?
They said because I was SPECIAL.
I still don't know what that means. So, they asked me which bags were mine, and I said, I suppose all of them, but then I pointed to my Caesars bag and a taped up box. They went through it all. I told them I was confused about all of this airport security stuff, why we couldn't bring hair shampoo, underarm deorderant, toothpaste or any kind of gel. The guard referred me to a website.
Sonny asked, well, is it okay to bring Gum?
The guard said yes. Then I jokingly said doesn't C4 (plastic explosives) look like gum. About then the security guard told me if I said anything else, they would have me thrown in jail. At this point, I felt like my first amendment rights were being violated. I hadn't said anything that might cause harm to anyone, therefore, my speach should have been protected. I just kept quiet, however, I hate to be bullied and was very tempted to call my lawyer just to see if I was being victimized.
Sonny shot through the gates, after taking off his shoes.
I had to take off my shoes, and be frisked from top to bottom. They missed my exploding underwear, ha ha ha.
Is it just me, or did all of this sound silly?
I could have brought my laptop onboard. It could have been filled with liquid. BTW-They broke my camera.
A stupid little thing like a high wattage lazer pointer can bring down a 747, so, why play these games at airports.
I suppose what I'd like to say at this point is, the 9-11 terrorist succeeded in their goals.
It wasn't the destruction of the twin towers, it was the loss of our freedoms in the United States.
Our rights have been trampled and we've been set back decades in our fight for freedom.
The first trampling I got at the airport was my freedom of speech, which is protected by the Bill of Rights.

We used what little time we had to visit Presque Isle Park. It was a nice drive. There's the bay on one side and Lake Erie on the other side.
There was even a big monument to a guy name Perry (born August 23, 1785). Perry had entered the navy when he was 13 years old to work with his dad. He bopped around the world Europe and Africa, and at 20 he became lieutenant in command of a small schooner.
At 24, Thomas Jefferson gave Perry command of a gun vessel called the Revenge, which he wrecked. Anyway, he recieved a promotion to Master Commander.  Perry was the first in history to defeat an entire British squadron and successfully bring back every ship to his base as a prize of war. Perry, at the age of 28, was hailed by the public as a national hero for his victory on Lake Erie. He coined the phrase "We have met the enemy, and they are ours".
I mention this because at the age of 13, all I could think about was girls.
Its impressive that in those days, a father and son could work together without all of the connotations associated with promoting family members. I wish Dad had taught me something about brick laying. It would have saved me years of searching for a suitable profession.

We ate dinner. Sonny and I got Dads violin, and various other pictures and memorabilia, which, I will hold on to for life.
I hadn't seen a lot of these pictures, so I was in awe. Dad, as it turns out, wore my size clothes, so, now I've got a lot of classy clothes.
All in all, I cried about 3 or 4 times in private.
It will be sad not to hear him call me anymore.
I will miss him. That leaves Sonny, Kelly and Linda (if she's still alive).
The world is turning into a very lonely place.
Sometimes I hope my turn is next. I hate saying goodbye to the people I love.
I'm glad Dad surrounded himself with wonderful people. 
Everyone we met there was great!
Our conversations went from practical to wild, and there was a lot of laughter in between. I'm not sure thats the way Dad would have wanted it, but we had a lot of great things to say about him.
I'm going to miss his calls so much. *sniffle*sniffle*

Sonny and I tried to see some sites before the funeral. We went down to Lake Erie's Liberty Park...however, instead of going through the park, we climbed a steep hill across the road to get a bird side view. Unfortunately, there were a lot of red juicy berrys along the muddy climb. Half my face was covered with red dye. By the time we got down, we were late for the funeral, and my face and hair were bright red!!!
A lot of the pictures they had displayed were pictures I had taken.
I was really surprised about that. Everybody was very nice and very friendly. My eulogy was pretty much that Dad may have like believing in the far side of things, but, he left his mark in ways he never even counted. I mentioned the house he had built in Paducah, Kentucky. He got the design from a magazine cover. I guess you'd call it a Southern mansion, but on a smaller scale. Keep in mind, when he built it in the 70's, the houses in the neighborhood were wooden shacks. Today, for an area that covers at least 3 square miles, there are houses that all duplicate his design. His was the first and I'm sure it set the pace. Dad....it seemed...made his mark on the world.
Afterwards, we all ate at a really nice restaurant and as usually.
Aunt Tass paid for it all and I feel really guilty about that. I don't know how my conscience will deal with the fact that I already owe her so much. My carma insist I keep an even slate with very one.

Our plane was an exciting turbo prop. It was extremely cramped. I had a terrible time breathing. The interesting thing about this flight was unboarding the flight. We actually got to walk on the runway.
Inside, we got our rental car, some kind of Chrysler convertable. It was zippy and responsive.
Navigating around Erie was another story though. The streets change names just like in Las Vegas.
Where Dad lived (New Perry Highway), does not officially exist on any map. We got lost, a lot!
We arrived at Dad's house, finally, after a bunch of UTurns.
Honestly, by the time we go there, we were too burned out to look through his things.
The car, they said could be ready to drive back in two days, but by then, it was too late. We'd already spent a fortune on round trip tickets...the moment had passed. On the other hand, the car was a tank. It would have cost $1,000 to drive it back to Vegas. Plus, it would have taken day to get there.
Judy, by far, was my favorite person there though. She could make you laugh at the world exploding. Everybody there was great!!!
Tass, unfortunately, was paying for the whole shabang, that is, except for us. She offered, but, we just have too much pride to start excepting help now. We've been self sufficient for decades. But, she's a real sweatheart for offering.

It was a real mess. We couldn't find out if we Dad's car was drivable or even transferrable.
So, we booked a flight, room, and rental car for $1,800...way more than we could afford.
The security at the gates had us remove our shoes, and wouldn't allow us to carry any kind of liquid in our luggage, not even toothpaste. I did pack some Albuterol...some how that got past them...but they did take my bic lighter.
Along the way, and with all the walking, I almost passed out. A couple of nurses wanted to check me into their triag but I refused. Nicely enough, they gave me an albuterol inhaler, which was very gracious of them.
I took valiums for the trip up, so sleep was off and on. It was rough though.

Reposted from 8/10/2006 6:27:32 AM
Everything was beautiful from my first moment there.
I had a new sense of awareness. I EXIST!!! 
I had a consciousness that seemed to evolve from nowhere.
I had no memory of where I came from, or who or what I was. Matter of fact, I don't even HAVE a memory yet.
My whole essence seemed to be forming into something incredibly new.
I was receiving my instructions through transmissions of visions and knowledge.
These instructions showed me what I was suppose to do. They were helping me design myself.
These instructions prepared me for a journey I'd be taking through a tunnel towards a light.
When I was ready, forces beyond my control sent me pulsing through that tunnel towards the light.
I didn't understand these instructions, but I knew there were some things I had to do.
In what seemed like an eternity I breached the tunnel.
I was entering into a world of light.
When I got through the light there was air...sweet, sweet, beautiful air. 
How did this work? I didn't think I would have air. Every breath I took of it was amazing.
I could feel its energy pulse through my entire body. It was as invigorating. At the same time, it was somewhat disturbing.
I felt great breathing the air in. When I didn't breath in, I felt terrible. Breathing became my first addiction.
I became aware of these beautiful visions.
They were all blurry at first, but after a while, they seemed to crystallize in shapes of form and depth.
I was beginning to see Heavens kingdom.
The sounds were incredible.
I first heard music, at least I thought it was music.
I could sense the vastness of Heaven in my mind.
I could sense that others were helping me.
I didn't understand anything. I welcomed their help.
It seemed clear to me that these helpers were the angels of Heaven.
Everything was warm.
The energy of it all...I love this place...I LOVE HEAVEN!!!
I didn't know why I was here, or how any of this happened, but I liked it.
And finally, after a few moments of struggling, I was able to stand up on all four of my legs.
My instructions had told me where and how to find milk.
However, those instructions and visions left with the light. I have no idea about what I'm supposed to do next.
But if I ever do this again, and if I have any kind of choice about what I am going to be, I want to be like those things standing on two legs. They are angels. Matter of fact, I think one of them helped pull me through the tunnel of light. Those creatures seem to know everything.

Louis, (my dad), was an professional violist, and an accomplished brick mason for most of his life.
He is survived by his wife - Lottie, two sons - Louis and James, two daughters - Linda and Kathren, grandsons - Eric, Daniel, and granddaughters - Jessica, Grace.
Condolences at bruggerfuneralhomes.com. Sign the guestbook at www.GoErie.com/obits.
Published in the Erie Times-News on 9/7/2006.
Please sign the Guest Book

You truly have a gift of implicantly descriptive words of what would normally be everyday events for some.
Oh yea....
You click the ENTER <---- over there to enter a blog entry
You click the EDIT ----> over there to change your heading....
I should make that more clear, but, not many people use this blog anyway.

Dad, as excentric and mystically oriented as he was, was a very good man.
I'll love him till the day I die. We talked only two days ago. I believe he knew his time was coming.
His main concern was that his kids were going to be alright.
 
Note: These pictures were taken with a Polaroid Swinger (remember those?). I had a million other pictures, but somehow they've seemed to have evaporated.
Growing up with Dad was fun, and very interesting.
He liked the "Far Side" of things, which, by the way, is my favorite comic strip.
Memories of going to the lake, living in a three room house with its outhouse in the back, taking a bath in a #10 washtub, and riding around in that Volkswagon hit the top of my memories.
Dad was a hard worker. I believe most of his work still stands today.
He once put me on his shoulders at Barkley Airport so that I could see, believe it or not, John F Kennedy.

Red 3: 100 pts, 4 Red 3s: 800pts
Going out: 100pts, Going Out with nothing down: 200pts
Canasta with wild cards: 300pts
Canasta without wild cards: 500pts

Earlier, we went car shopping for the heck of it. These car lot owner/dealers crack me up!!!
"Yea, those Porsches, Mazdas, Toyotas, and Hondas are a death trap" this one dealer said while smoking a cigarette.
"You should spend $7,000 on this safe Mercedes that gets 8 miles to the gallon and has 180,000 miles on it."
I told him "If we did, and I only drove it 1,000 miles, it would have cost us $10 a mile to drive it, and we could rent a limo for for that price."

:)

 

Even though it was a signed, Bank of America paycheck, Bank of America wouldn't take it without the signers ID.
They would take a copy of his id though. Strange procedures.
At any rate, the guy met me at Sam's Town's main cage; cashed the check, and paid me $1,000 cash.
I also took a picture of his drivers license (which I should have done when I rented the place).
The tempting thing about this whole rental affair is, the tenant prefers paying us in cash.
Its tempting to run with the cash, and not declare the income. hmm.
But we'll play it on the square. We won't be paying any taxes on the rental anyway.
Know what else feels good?
Renting the condo for $900 a month. We were being steered into renting it for $750.
Shoot, the property management people wanted us to rent it for $750, and us pay 10% for them doing it.

Ahhh...that feels nice for someone to give you their paycheck...ahhhhh!
But we can't cash the paycheck...ouch!!! At least $200 was in cash...

The U.S. Food and Drug and Administration says prescription drugs bought on 10 Canadian pharmacies websites have turned up as fakes. The agency said it tested drugs intercepted on the way to American consumers and they turned up counterfeits of 10 popular medications, including the cholesterol drugs Lipitor and Crestor, and the painkiller Celebrex.  "There are lifesaving drugs out there that people can't afford. So, people are looking for alternative places to go and buy them," said David Certner, AARP.
Quoted from Channel 8 News in Las Vegas
"Caveat Emptor" is latin for "Let the Buyer Beware".
If you buy drugs online, test each site with a small purchase first.
Being without health insurance, I'm forced to buy my pharmaceuticals online.
If I have an infection, those little antibiotics that the doctors love to pass out cost over $16 a pill.
For example:
Without insurance. A a prescription of 7 Cipro costs $18. A doctor visit costs $95.
Totaled thats $113. Divide that by 7 and you get $16 a pill.
I just ordered 50 Cirpros for $35 online from an Indian pharmacy. Thats .70 a pill.
Another example:
I'm an asthmatic and it gets really bad here in Las Vegas.
Albuterol inhalers cost me $10 online.
I once saw an invoice where Medicare was billed $120 for just one inhaler.
The bottom line is
If you need prescription drugs, and even if you have insurance, you should still shop around.
It should be like almost everything else in the United States, free enterprise.
Let the laws of supply and demand work for you.
Don't let the insurance and pharmaceutical companies fix the prices.

Its right behind Carls Jr on Trop and Mtn Vista.
Some people came by to look at the condo.
They said they were renting a 1 bedroom at Camden, and they went up to $905.
They said the 2 bedrooms were $1,150.
WOW!!!
So, I guess the Camden methods are country wide!
They said their water bill was $20 a month too, with a $15 late penalty,
and that they'd have to pay $150 for the lease renewal.

I was probably feeding them words then...when they were complaining about Camden. I should just listen.
They just said uh huh, uh huh...to everything I said. hmmm.

- A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
- If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
- When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
- You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
- Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
- He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
- A calendar's days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine
- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium atlarge.
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
- When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
- If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture: a jab well done.
- Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced

Be quick notary or whatever...and we'll have all of our notary stuff next week.
Now, all we need is:
- A DBA checking account
- A Yellow Page ad (I can get online)
- Our stamps (from a stamp vendor), and also a log book.
- A Logo
- Optionally, somebody that will give us a tutorship as contractors (I have someone in mind already).
- A low mileage car to scoot us around in (that is fun to drive)
This is all just too easy...life is just too easy.

Thats hilarious....you know what I may do is just form a Sole Proprietorship in Becky's name.
Sole Proprietorships are so easy to do...except they don't protect your assets....and Becky has no assets.
Man, I gotta talk to a CPA though.
How about Be Quick Notary Pubic of Squirt!!!  or Be Quick Squirt

We should be getting sworn in, to be Notaries today.
BQuik Notary still sounds good to me.
I need to find out (or just remember) how to file a DBA again. I've got notes somewhere around here.
- I need a DBA
- I think I need another EIN
- I don't think I can use Cutlar Enterprises...that would be too easy
- I think I need another business license.
The question here is, what type...sole proprietorship, partnership, S-Corp, C-Corp
- I need a Nevada State Taxation ID.
I noticed today that you don't really need to prove you have a business license to get a Yellow Page ad.
It sure would be tempting not to do the DBA stuff.
It looks like, to do a DBA, you need a business license/name. To get a business license/name, you need a Nevada Tax ID. To get a Nevada Tax ID, you need a business name...and therein, lies the loop. All this is so you can get a DBA checking account, so you can cash checks to my-company-name.  Somewhere in there, you need a EIN.
Sheesh...it sounds like a lot of running around.

Does everybody have a choice of whether on go to the dark side, or the bright side?
I wondered who in their right mind would go into the dark side.
Wouldn't they be bumping into to things all over the place there?
I mean, how much fun could that be?

See now, thats what I don't get...with exception of his shiny black plastic exoskeleton looking outfit, nothing about him was dark. Besides, Darth used the force.

Name	Number	Monthly	Description
Budget Suites	702-454-4625	$1,414	2 br
Sportsman	702-458-7071	$1,423	2 br
Boulder Manor	702-454-8960	$1,048	(Studios Only)
Turtle Creek	877-762-5035	$1,070
Courtyard	702-456-2900
Fountains at Flamingo	702-435-6555	$795-815
Corral Gardens	866-372-3476	$729	Dep $425, Admin $125+$35person