While creating a log called Obits, I came across a letter that is very special.
This letter was written by my Mom after my Grandfather died.

My Mom was a beautiful person.
I remember leaving her hours before she passed on. I kissed her, told her I loved her so much. She waved at me with one of those red, glowing sensors on her finger and smiled so big.
I never thought she was going to die in her sleep hours later. My wife (Ruth) and I had prepared a room for her at my house, for when she got out. Mom seemed to get around just fine.
But I was so busy in those days. I had to reinstall almost all of the applications at Caesars that month.
Maybe I saw, but I didn't notice that my Mom, my best friend in this life, was slipping away.
Mom died 10 years to the day, after her husband (Dave Leblanc) died. Dave, Mom, and my Grandfather died just before their insurance ran out.
Dave was my step-dad, and what a great guy he was.
Almost all of the people I loved from that period are gone now. Only my brother and I are left to honor their memories.

---

I sent some flowers to Ruth (my ex-wife) in Mississippi. She's not going to survive much longer -gbhs. While I was on FTDs website, I thought we'd send some flowers to Becky's Mom (Gma). Well, I got a call from the Mississippi FTP florist, who jokingly said in a strong Mississippi accent "I would love to travel to Las Vegas to deliver these flowers, but can you afford it?". I said "I thought FTD employed a naked guy with wings on its head and feet to deliver flowers". I cancelled the order. Meanwhile, I got a call from a friend who is in a Asia. He called saying "Jiiiim, Heeeeeelp.". I can't resist that. In all of the excitement, he left his credit card in an ATM, and was stranded with just the money he had in his pocket. I took the morning off and wired him some money. I didn't have time to replace the flower order though. Becky went on to finish what I/we started earlier...getting some flowers for GMa. Later that day, while at the store getting some sliced ham (half of which I ate in the checkout line),  I'd realized I'd made a BIG mistake. I'd gotten flowers for my ex, and we'd gotten flowers for Becky's Mom, but I'd overlooked the most important person in my life...Miss BECKY. Now this is really wild, I bought her some Starlight Lillies, a little Koala Bear, and a nice MOther's Day Card and when I gave them to her with ham on my breath, she hugged me and started to cry. I asked her why. She said nobody had ever given her flowers on Mother's Day before. Being stupid-like, I said "But you have four kids and you're 100 years old". That snapped her back. The night before, Becky got a call from Renee, and when Becky was talking on the IPhone, all I could here is what sounded like geese cackling (saying something about ghoulash). On Friday night, Becky got another call and it sounded like geese cackling again, so I assumed it was from Renee. This time it was from Jennifer. She was all high on life and I'd swear if she had rockets in her heart, she'd already be past Pluto. Jennifer put on GMa, and she was all high on life. During that call, a florist delivered her Mother's Day Flowers. Now here's the kicker. A voice in the background sounded just like Ruth. It had that strong Mississippi drawl. She was a friend of GMa's. Friday was a very good night.
Oh, Becky got some new gradient transitional lensed glasses. They were the best lenses available from Walmart, and I realized I would be taking a gamble (it would probably be the first time Becky had ever seen me clearly). I worried about having to explain to her that my hair wasn't really fuzzy. She cried when I bought them. hmmm.  Coming home, I decided to take I76 to I79,  but I76 didn't have an exit for I79. Matter of fact, it didn't have any exits for 30 miles so we decided to go to Cleveland. But I had second thoughts when I realized I had YooHoo from an exploding can all over me. I was so sticky. Instead we went to Beaver Falls, which is a wasteland of dead mills and factories. From there, we went on to Richland, which consists half of mansions, golf courses, and elegant cemetaries and the other half abandoned houses, shops and greenhouses. We stopped at this little pub name "Tilts". I'd heard about their bands from a guy at work. The bartender was almost impolite at first (we were outsiders), but after a few small conversations, she warmed up and started bringing us jumbo shrimp. Becky had the nastiest Slo Gin Fizz on this planet. Being a gentleman, I drank half of it and had the bartender fill it back up with 7-up (what a guy!).
And, that's my long, drawn out, over embellished, never ending, run on story with  colors , for this week, as I see it. ---yawn 

Is reality what we experience?
If others don't experience what we do, is our perception real or imagined?
All of those voices in our head, what are they? Do our dreams tell us what to do in our daily lives?
I've seen things that I rarely get a chance to talk about.
Because this blog offers mostly my perspective of life, through pictures and words, I feel I can voice freely some of what I've seen.
I know that there is much more to this life than I can imagine.
I see an intelligent force around me every day. It must be millions, if not billions of years old.
And I know that our brain holds the knowledge of how are body was built as well, and this knowledge is denied to our consciousness.
I've seen animals that learn to walk much faster than humans after being born. Do they dream about walking before being born?
We aren't given the tools to understand reality.
Why? I will never know using this brain with its senses. We are severily limited in our thinking.
Sometimes I think our brain is like a 20 year old PC. We can't do a lot with it. One person is gifted with math, another is gifted with music, but nobody has it all.
Its nice to know others have gifts, and I'm not just talking about people. I'm talking about every living thing I see.
Perhaps, nothing I do in this life really matters to anyone here today, including myself, but it will matter millions of years from now.
It seems sad that eternity simply can't exist for this brain. Its amazing how much this body has changed forms since I was born.
It makes sense to me that I've been here, changing and having many different forms for a very long time, long before my body and mind existed. 
It always amazes me that I was once a small fertilized egg. Logic tells me that when I was born, everything in the universe worked its way up to my creation.
If everything hadn't happened exactly the way it did, I wouldn't be here.
If my Mom hadn't met my Dad, if my grandparents didn't ride a trolley together in New York...and so on, if anything had been different, I wouldn't exist in this form.
That seems clear to me.
And I believe we die every day. Our skin dies, our memories die, our body is constantly replenishing dead cells with new cells everyday.
We host over 30 trillion living cells in our body. Our perspective changes all of the time. We aren't any single thing. We are part of the universe, and we are many.
But if someone sees life as being something different than what I see, who am I to say they are wrong.
All I have is my perspective on life.
I like this article.
Almost everyone writes better than I do.
Anyway, click here to read something a little more eliquent than what I've wrote.
Its comforting to know that after 100s of years, few things that were said today will be remembered. However, everything we do today is part of a chain of events that will create a different kind of future. Everything we did, will matter.

I hear rain falling. Cars are treading their way through the flooded roadways. It takes me back to a timeless place in my mind and its a good feeling. I feel young again.
A friend has layed down for her last time. She's counting the hours. 
All of the old times in our past, the partying with the gang, picking each other up from the floor and falling down again, us laughing at ourselves.
We had crazy times of constant fun, with never a bad word to say.
Almost all of the old gang is gone now. They came and went like an afternoon dream.
And I'm left here, listening to the rain fall, remembering with a smile...
while counting the days.
 

Last week was HOT! It got up to the high 80's. All of the trees that were brown the week before, are now green. Where do the bushes that looked like sticks the week before get all of that green stuff! I'm awed by the event. Plants are full of action. All you have to do is notice them.
Magoos Bar and Restaurant
Magoos is just up the hill from our apartment on Old Perry Highway.The food was excellent and they have live bands every Tuesday and Saturday.
Near there, was an ancient bowling alley hidden in the back of a small, self deteriating mall. It was full of leaguers.
Walnut Grove
Wednesday, we rendevoused with a coworker at Walnut Grove in Cranberry They have live jazz at 9 pm on Wednesdays. The food, music and company were GREAT.
Mt Pleasant Drive-In
Friday, we ended up at a drive-in 65 miles south of Pittsburgh. You wouldn't believe it. There were three screens surrounding a grassy field. The burgers were hand shaped (old fashioned style), and the ambience was festive. We caught the tail end of Hannah Montana (which was surprisingly good). People clapped at the ending! We came to see Witch Mountain with the Rock.
Rita's Ice Cream
We swung by and tried some of Pittsburgh's famed ice cream. I figured it must be good if people are lined up there in the winter time. I had my first Gellato. I don't know why I was thinking it would have Jello in it, but it was delicious. One of Pittsburgh's various surprisings is its Ice Cream College! Strange, but true.
New Glasses for Becky
Let's see, what else did we do? Oh, I bought Becky a new pair of glasses (expensive little boogers). She was in tears, she was so happy. I didn't expect that.
It was beautiful.
IBM Thinkpad for work
Yesterday, I finally got my laptop for support work. Its old, but does the job. I like Thinkpads. I especially like the mouse stick they put on the keyboard. Its light, has a docking station for work, and now I have two monitors!!! Now I have an excuse to stay at home on the weekends...and not wander the country aimlessly, looking for new and exciting places.