PREACHER: "Dear Lord, without you we are but dust."
CHILD: "Mom, what is butt dust?"

---

Watching his Mom breast-feeding.
CHILD: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

---

CHILD: "Granny how old are you.
GRANNY: "I don't remember anymore".
CHILD "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

---

Hugging/kissing his Mom goodnight.
CHILD: "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

---

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?

---

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

---

D I (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

---

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

---

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

---

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

---

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

---

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

---

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

---

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

---

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.

---

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

---

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

---

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh...

---

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

---

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it?

---

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

---

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

---

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral. What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

---

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

---

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if
you can raed tihs psas it on !!

Its depressing when you find your own father despised you.
All I tried to do was be his friend.
Dad and I talked a lot this last year.
He apologized for threatening to sue me.
He apologized for blaming me for losing the St Louis cross when my house got broken into and robbed.
I told him to forget about it, I realized he was just ranting.
He told me he thought he hadn't lived a good life. I told him I thought he had done just fine, that he had a good life.
However, his written words reach out beyond his grave.
Dad missed his calling to be a good parent.
He was never there for me.
We grew up poor, with an outhouse, and a pump well. We washed our clothes in #10 tubs.
Dad was a bricklayer, which should have been good money back then. Most Kentucky houses are brick.
But Dad was constantly sick, with his retina detaching, his arm going numb (he pulled a needle threw it).
He was a hypo-chondriac, which is why I still avoid doctors. I didn't want to be like that.
I was so depressed living in his house once Mom moved out, so at 14 (1970), I moved out to live with my Grandfather.
I moved in with my mom and my step-father from there.
I got Sonny into real estate when I was twenty one.
I'd put myself through college.
I offered Dad $40,000 to invest, and he turned me down.
I borrowed $2,000 and gave him back $2,500 in two months.
Nobody in the family, except for me, Aunt Tass or Uncle Art has done anything for him (to my knowledge).
About Mom and her estate:
Mom left me everything that was left over after her estate was close, that included this house's mortgage.
Basically, Kelly got $80k and I got $80k, but I had to pay the Probate lawyer $12k and take care of Mom's bills for 90 days. I also got this house free and clear, and thats where I really made out.
Dad thought I was a fool
He wanted me to give my inheritance to Kelly because she had kids. Kelly had already gotten half.
Dad thought I should invest in Vector Vest, a stock scam, instead of buying real estate in Las Vegas.
Mom didn't leave Sonny much, so I paid off the condo and put my name on it.
I also bought a house in Summerlin.
He was insensitive to my feelings
When I took out the St Louis Medallion (from a Safety Deposit Box), and my house got robbed, he threatened to sue me.
(never mind, that I left the house to wrap up an IRS audited which I beat, or that I just had major surgery with 3 bags hanging off of me, or that I was going through a divorce).
I suppose, in his mind, he damned me for moving in with Mom.
Now that I've read his letters, and will read more eventually, I finally know what he was saying about me.
He has told Tass, Sonny, and probably everyone else, what a terrible guy I am.
He dismissed these facts as being nothing to talk about:
I payed off the condo for Sonny.
I offered Dad $40k to play with.
I payed him the equivilent of 400%  interest on $2k he'd loaned me.
Meanwhile, in his letters, he's calling me the equivalant of an idiot because I bought real estate instead of running a program called Vector Vest, and investing in its stock picks.
All I can say is, fooey on Dad.
In Dad's words, and in his deeds, he did his best to turn people against me.
Dad did Sonny wrong
A settlement was awarded to Sonny. He suffered from damages in an auto accident while Grandfather was driving. 
Mom used the settlement to pay off the house on Hinkleville Road.
The house placed in Sonny's name. 
Which we grew up in that house.
After Sonny turned 21, Dad got Sonny to Quit Claim the house to him.
Dad sold that house and went on to build a 2 story house, and start an Ice Cream shop.
Dad lost everything. Sonny did not get his settlement money. 
All that talk about he was building the house for us, and what he was doing was just talk.
If there was an insurance settlement for my child,
and I used it to pay off my house, but had to put it in the childs name, I wouldn't hustle the child out of it when he turned 21. The money should have been put in a trust to begin with. I think I would have been grateful for all the years I lived there for free.
In short, Dad not leaving Sonny with a nickel was a total screw.
He left his insurance policys to his 90 year old wife. She'll leave it her 60 year old children.
Sonny didn't get the settlement, the house or anything...as promised. He did get a violin.
Judy mentioned that Dad raised him. What father demands payment from his child for raising him?
I don't understand these people.
Well, Sonny is my partner, and I have Becky by my side.
Whats mine is theirs.
Anyone else Dad spoke too about me doesn't concern me any more.

I think she meant cirrhosis, but I think he died from tuberculosis.

Someone mentioned the other day that he had been killed, so I looked it up.
According to Time Magazine, on 11/23/2006 the CIA Director said NOPE. Iraq's intelligience says NOPE. It was guessed he died in November 2001, from lung complications.
He's been reported as dead quite a few times over the last 5 years.
Most think he died in December 2001.
Check out: What Really Happened.com.
It looks like this site tries to decifer the truth from the news.
Good luck with that! lol

It was steak night at the price of $13.95, which is GREAT.
We ate (jumbo?) mussels, prime rib, large shrimp, seafood newburg, and more.
What can I say? It was delicious! I like South Coast.

Jennifer said that about Jonathon.
Looking confused, I asked her "Do you mean he we won't be receiving your Grand mom's help because he's getting a job, and he's not lying about getting a job?".
She said, "No, I don't know what that means. Ask Grandma.".
I asked her, "Does it mean he's receiving Christ's ghost or something religious like that?".
She said, "No, he's receiving information, I guess.".
I said, "So, he's receiving information about a job, and not lying to them?".
I know...I'm trying to make sense out of things that don't make sense.
A talent I have got to learned is how to look like I'm listening, when I'm not.

I looked everywhere on the internet and "he is receiving and not deceiving" doesn't mean squawt.
And that's all I wanted to know, was what does that expression mean.
Didn't mean no kind-a harm to no one. haha.
Its like the first time someone told me someone else was getting pickled.
When I asked them what that meant, they said, "getting drunk".
And that was basically a good enough definition.
Speaking about weird sayings...Jennifer asked us if Squirt was FIXED
I told her, if she meant did we destroy his ability to reproduce, no.

So, I need to sort these blog entries down by the server's date/time, instead of the requesters date/time....lol.

Its raining hard outside with thunder and lightning abound.
My thermometer says its 55 out there, but the weather reports say 50.
Its a hot cocoa day!

We went to the South Coast tonight. 
Somehow, its visible and looks huge, 5 miles away on the 215.
They have nine great restaurants!
Don Vito's is an Italian restaurant with classy cuisine.
The Big Sur Oyster Bar has a very long counter, where people can see their oysters being shucked.
All of their menu prices look well below market (typically $9 or less a plate).
The casino is brightly decorated.
I just love its golden hued themes. I noticed they have a lot of flat screen video poker machines.
A security guard told us South Coast just hosted the Jerry Lewis Telethon.
Check out the Equestrian Arena Calendar
It looks like they have horse shows and competitions in there Equestrian Arena all of the time.
Most of the activities are free, too. They just had a Nevada painted pony competition!
Today, they are having a Futurity Race.
That means the under 2 year old horses in the race were selected at birth for this event.
I was wondering why so many horse trailers were parked out front.
The security guard told us the equestrians are kept in a 5 story air conditioned barn!
Ya know, I've lived in Vegas since 1974
We eat someplace different every week. We cruise the strip and site see at least two times a week.
And I'll never see it all.

I spoke to Smith of Dempsy and Roberts (I think)....uh...anyway
Series LLCs are the best way to go.
- ABC Inc owns Be Quick Notary and Be Quick Software
-- Be Quick and Be Quick Software each have their own business licenses, EINs and checking accounts.
-- ABC is created using the Secretary of States website.
---- Check the box where it says Series LLC.
---- Add to the articles the following verbage: None of the assets or proceeds from multiple businesses will be co-mingled
These LLCs are desired and are very sellable and are even envied by other states.
Since Cutlar Enterprises is in default (again) and since it was audited once, I should just let it go.
Good thing: If Company A sues ABC and wins for $100,000, when they receive $5,000 of it, they have to pay taxes immediately for the entire $100,000. I can force an tax audit of them by filing a K1. Since the resulting tax audit would probably reveal that Company A didn't pay what could be $34,000 in taxes on the settlement, I have leverage to deal them down, after the courts settlement. They'd rather pay taxes on $5,000 than pay $34,000 taxes on $100,000.
Bad thing: ABC Inc, Be Quick Notary, and Be Quick Software can't give benefits to its employees.
The Nevada Secretary of State is at http://sos.state.nv.us/
The 8th District Court is on 200 Lewis Avenue. http://www.co.clark.nv.us/district_court/courthome.htm
Nevada State Business info: http://www.secretaryofstate.biz/
Nevada State Business forms: http://sos.state.nv.us/comm_rec/crforms/llc_index.htm
Information on Series LLCs: http://www.incnow.com/services.shtml

(CBS) Not so long ago, Adam Gadahn was a Jewish-American boy, growing up on a goat farm in Orange County, California. Now he's been charged with treason against the United States -- "perhaps the most serious offense for which any person can be tried under our Constitution," according to Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty.
Gadahn, aka Azzam al-Amriki or "Azzam the American," 28, is accused of deliberately making the choice to leave his country and join al Qaeda, providing "aid and comfort" to the country's most determined enemy.
In the videos, Gadahn gloated over attacks he threatened would be coming, promising "the streets of America shall run red with blood." He praised the 9/11 attacks as "the blessed raids on New York and Washington."
But Justice officials said a tape released on September 2nd of this year, in which Gadahn was actually introduced by al Qaeda's second-in-command, Ayman al-Zawahiri, was "the last straw."
He sounds like a silly/confused Californian goat farmer's boy to me!
This makes me wonder now, about my treatment at the airports coming back from Erie.
At the airports coming back from Erie, PA, I was targeted for inspection, just me, not my brother.
Did I say something or (maybe) browse something on the internet that flagged me as a terrorist.
Security was supposedly looking for bottles of liquids in my luggage.
I asked "Is toothpaste allowed in my suitcase."
The security guard said, "Yes".
I said "Couldn't plastic explosives be disguised in a tube of toothpaste."
He told me "Not to say anything else, or he'd have to call the FBI, and they'd send me to jail".
Is freedom of speech not part of the Constitution now?
I must have missed that Amendment.
I was traveling with my brother, and security asked me which suitcases were mine so they could search them.
I pointed out a suitcase and a box. I made some comments about how silly the inspection rules were.
And, somehow, my new camera got smashed.
I'm as American as anyone can get.
I grew up in the USA. I know its history, and admire the constitution and love Justice, Freedom, and the American way of life
I think Freedom of speech should be a cherished part of the constitution. We must have lost that after the 9/11 attacks.
I'd just hate to see the day when the citizens of the United States become targets of their government for what they say.
I want to chant ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER FOR PRESIDENT!!!
This is what I'd rather be read in the papers (about terrorist and other evil people).
A British man pleaded guilty Thursday to conspiring to bomb high-profile targets in the United States.
including the International Monetary Fund headquarters in Washington and the New York Stock Exchange.
By JILL LAWLESS LONDON Oct 12, 2006 (AP)
"I plead guilty," Dhiran Barot, 32, said in a clear voice at Woolwich Crown Court in south London.
Other alleged targets in the plot, which was foiled by Barot's arrest in 2004, included the World Bank headquarters in Washington, the Citigroup building in New York and the Prudential building in Newark, N.J.
Prosecutor Edward Lawson said Barot planned "to carry out explosions at those premises with no warning. They were plainly designed to kill as may people as possible."

I was reading about emission controls systems in cars, specifically, because I still have a problem with my check engine light. While browsing the net, I found out some interesting things about ozone.
High levels of ozone create eye, throat and lung irratiation.
Does that sound familiar? We experienced and talked about that when we came back to Vegas?
My asthma is flairing up again. I went to http://www.accessclarkcounty.com/Air_Quality/full_forecast.htm
to check out Las Vegas's air advisories. On http://www.ccairquality.org/output/chart.html, I noticed that in areas that were highest in carbon monoxide readings, didn't measure the important things, like Ozone (specifically, E Sahara and S Las Vegas Blvd). It basically says everything is fine. I'd have to disagree though.
I don't need their chart to tell me something is in the air this morning.
I can sense it. For one, outside the air is hazy and the mountains aren't visible.
But to read articles from different news sources, it sounds like the air quality here is excellent.
So, I have to wonder what is going on.
Note: I was in the convertible yesterday with the top down for almost 7 hours.

So, we'll probably have to go through eviction procedures Thursday if they don't contact us.
hmmm...I've been on the road all day since 10am (with exception of 1.5 hours). Sheesh.

We devoted most of the day to Joy's getting her job.
Robert squared up with me, and bought the little laptop too.
While at Walmart (for her polo shirt), I bought a xD card for my cell phone.
It was bound up so tight, I got the package open, and the xD just seemed to disappear.
I had to get another miniSD card for my camera, since it seems to ruin them easily.
Also, I checked around for Evap Purge Canister Valve for the Mustang
It causes the Check Engine Light (MIL) to come on. It was on the web for $28. Ford Country said they had it for $112. I double checked, and they spaced, they looked up the wrong car, year, everything. It turned out to be $31.
I changed it out in 5 minutes.
Meanwhile...we still have Amy here, and we need to pick up our rent money, and pick Joy up.
This day seemed like a waste.

 

 I had a Big O mechanic point at out where the EVAP purge canister was.

Diagnostic Trouble Code (DTC) P1443 indicates a failure in the EVAP canister purge valve circuit. The Evaporative Emissions (EVAP) Canister Purge (CP) valve controls the flow of vapors from the fuel vapor storage canister to the intake manifold during various engine operating modes.
The canister purge valve is located at the LH front of the engine compartment, below the air cleaner assembly.

Big O charged $49. They rotated the tires too. Nice job!

Its Columbus Day, and it looks like everything is open.

While at the mall, Dustin did and said things that amazed me:
- He told me how I could get away with not working while working at a job
He said, scribble some stuff on a paper, then go to sleep on it.
I said, why would you think like that? Why wouldn't you just do your job?
- He pushed me
I pulled him, he fell down. Then I scolded him about pushing, poking, and hitting things.
- He said, if I knew karate, I could flip you.
I told him nope. You're too small. The bigger animal usually wins a fight. 
I asked him, why would want to hurt me?
He said, I just said it because I could.
I said WHY?
I've taken you to the Forum Shops, a park, bought you drinks, driven you up the Strip.
I took you to a mountainside and a raginig desert wash today.
He said, I don't know. I just said it.
I don't understand why he thinks like he does.
He didn't get it from you Becky. You are a hard worker, you are honest and you never hurt things.
He seems to be your opposite. Wow.

Eat, drink, be happy, and have children because one day we will all die.
We should also create something thats unique to our abilities.
It doesn't matter if we help to push a block up a pyramid, plant five trees in a row, build a house, write a book or create a painting. If we leave something behind that shows what we did here (besides creating kids), then we've created a small time capsule for others to see.
Even ideas can be time capsules. Ideas can spawn other ideas.
For all we know, the first table may have been built based on a joke made by cave dwellers sitting around a fire.
Most of the planet has tables to set things on. Someone had to have created the first one.

---

I especially like the petroglyph's I see all around the southwest.
They may seem like childlike cartoons from people we may never understand, but, they are everywhere out here.
The Anasazi Indians created durable rock drawings that have lasted for thousands of years.
We are probably related to them and don't know it.

:)

I really enjoyed the steak dinner with Paul, Gma, Renee, and your kid. It was nice.
And its been a lot of fun talking to your GMa.
I keep my promises, babe. We'll send Gma on a (battle) cruiser.
If we do 2 loans for a days a five day week, we've reached my goals.
I know you didn't say battle cruiser when you were talking about it.
I misheard you. But, it was a funny thought! Send GMa on a Battle Cruise ship...Look Out World! haha
If we can do that with loans, or (can make $2,000 in one week) we've reached one of my goals.
My goal was to make more money than I could programming computers,
and make it so the business could be passed along.
If we can make $2k a week doing notaries, and you could handle the business with very little of my help, then I've done it!!! I'll have left a legacy. LVDude failed. The A/C precooler failed.

I asked her, how do you know that? She said Becky said she could use it to play games on.
Becky said she didn't. Anyway, Jennifer said she didn't move it, and she did, because she unplugged it.
To make matter worse, Dustin must have tried to fix it, by unplugging the cable modem and/or the router.
At any rate, I had to reload the router, and make sure everything else worked. It took an hour.
I'm really tired of fixing these computers after the kids leave.
We're going to need what we have left.
I'm tired of the lying too.

He'd spilled some cola on the carpet, but was just going to forget about it.
I noticed the spot, and asked him about it. He said, well, I thought I'd get around to it later.
Sheesh.
I told him, if he let it dry, it would take Becky and me an hour to get the huge stain out.
I told him, he could shampoo it out in five minutes...if he didn't want to be a slob.
We got the shampooer out, and I showed him how to do it. He did more than his stain, he did Jennifer's stains too (which she denied making)..
BTW - The couch couldn't look any nastier. Jennife must have spilled a coke on it...looks like half a coke.
All I can say is...NASTY!!!!

Went all over the Sunrise mountains, in the rocks and up the hills.
Most of the way up the mountain, I pulled over to get out to enjoy the view.
Dustin was going to hang in the car, toying with his gameboy.
At that time, I told him it would be fine with everyone if hung out of at Roberts.
He said he was shutting the game down.
We went to a new Sunrise Park.
Great View!
Played around the raging Las Vegas Wash.
I tested the 97 Mustang on the rocks for skidding and the emergency breaks.
Becky went nuts! She kept freaking out!
I told her, if she couldn't handle a skid, she should never drive a car.
And the only way to know a car is by practicing in it. The back tires are light, so traction is bad.
Went down the Strip.
We toured the Forum Shops and saw all the shows.
At one point, Dustin, trying to get attention, pushed me and I pulled him, so he fell, thus causing a scene.
I told him, don't push, poke or hit people. Treat people right or expect to get hurt.
Finally we, go back home at 11pm.
Jennifer says she lost her overnight bag when we got home.
If it weren't for all of the bickering, it would have been fun.
The capper was the last few minutes driving. I was stopped a left hand turn light.
Becky made a noise. I thought she said GO, that the light had changed.
I said Becky! She said she didn't say anything, then Jennifer jumped right in to say Becky didn't say anything.
I said, Becky did said something, I know what I heard, you can't tell me otherwise. 
That was very annoying.
I'm tired.

The first book of the bible was Geniuses.
God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an Apple tree.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.
Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
The Jews ate unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. 
Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar.
Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
Mary had Jesus through an immaculate contraption.
When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
Three wise guys from the east side arrived and found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before they do unto you.
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistels were the wives of the apostals.
One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige.

Earn an almost tax free living at home As a minister ordained by Rose Ministries You can start your own church, officiate at weddings, or conduct any religious ceremony. Whether for a single ceremony or as a business, ordination grants you the full rights and privileges accorded ministers and priests of any major religion. With the credentials granted as part of your Rose Ministries ordination, you can legally provide all manner of religious services, and form a church, as a full or part-time business. You can qualify for tax-free status, and even accept money for your services. As a Legally Ordained Clergy-Member you can:

Weddings	Perform wedding ceremonies. Authorized in all 50 states.
Beliefs	Share your personal religious beliefs with others.
Respect	Earn the respect automatically accorded members of the clergy.
Tax Free	Qualify for tax free status as religious order.
Earn Money	If you wish, you can legally charge for the religious rites you perform; including weddings, funerals, services, and more!
Ceremonies	Lead, (even create your own!), religious ceremonies and rites as a legally ordained member of the clergy.
Church	Open a church to spread the fellowship of believers.
Legal in all 50 States	Legal in all 50 states. Some areas may require registration before conducting wedding ceremonies.
Preferred Treatment	As a Pastor, Minister, Cleric, Priest, Clergy-Member, Bishop: Ordained Clergy Members everywhere are provided preferred treatment, even price discounts, as a show of respect towards legally ordained religious leaders.
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It happens though. This isn't a perfect rental we have. Our tenents aren't perfect, but neither are we.
We are receiving better than normal rent for the condo. I'm happy about that.
The tenants washing machine was leaking and the dryer's heater coils may have been fried.
By the tenant agreeing to purchase/install a (new) washer and dryer for $200
out of October's rent money (plus security deposit forward) we did this:
If they don't get a washer/dryer, they can't complain about the 38 year old ones we left there.
If they do get a washer/dryer, we're ahead. Whatever they get can't be worse if it works.
However, we should add in the notes whether the washer/dryer have been replaced or not on the reciept.
I found some pretyped forms on http://www.freeforms.bidrent.com/ that I think are pretty cool.
The way I understand it though, as long as it is clear to a small claims judge that both parties signing an agreement, understood the agreement, and the agreement isn't totally stupid, its a good contract.

I, James Cutlar on 9/5/2006 received $360 with this understanding:
On 9/6/2006 the tenant will dispense the balance of $640
($540 plus the remaining unpaid $100 security deposit) by
1) Paying the landlord $440 in cash 
(add the standard $90 late if paid after 9/6/2006)
Initials Landlord: ________ Tenant: _______
2) Using the remaining $200 to replace the current washer and drier
Initials Landlord: ________ Tenant: _______
It is further understood that the tenant will dispose of the old washer and drier
by any method he deems fit,
and the replacement washer and drier will remain the property of the landlord.

October 2006's rent will be considered paid in full, upon completion of these events.
Initialing of each of these activities by the tenant and landlord
will cause this contract to be deemed completed.

Signed: __________________________________________ Landlord

Signed: __________________________________________ Tennant

Date:    __________________________________________

Louis Julian Poissan Cutlar
Born: 07/17/1923.
Died: 09/05/2006. Age: 83 years old.
Erie, Erie County, Pennsylvania
Funeral: Brugger Mortuary 09/09/2006
Social Security: 245-24-7178

It was sad, because we fell out of tradition.
No Christmas tree. No presents. No music. No cards. No pretty lights. No symbolism.
I realize Christmas is imposed on other religions, and is probably unconstitutional,
but I'd be tempted to join in at the Naked Man Festival in Okayama if I had a loin cloth,
and I've definitely worn green pants, and drank green beer on St Patricks Day.
When you decide a family tradition is just another day, something happens inside.
You realize all the memories of that tradition have been degraded to normal,
and you realize you have lost a part of yourself that you really liked.
We had a mighty fine dinner that night, but we'd suffered a casualty that day.
I think we should develop a new holiday...lets call it Squirty Day
During the day, we'll carry or chew on bright colored balls,
When we here anything that sounds like a knock, we'll run around in circles and say 'bark'.

This can get pretty cRaZy fast...ask Renee or Robert.
I know Robert's hooked.
Jennifer and Dustin almost never go into messenger unless they're here.
But these 'blogs' can be fun.

It was SWEET! You made Becky feet special.
Now, I know I'm a guy, and I shouldn't call things sweet, but, it was very, very nice.
You had a Happy Birthday banner on the wall, made some Boulebaisse (spelling), and Renee made a birthday cake.
I know its been over a decade since anyone has made me a birthday cake, so,
I thought this was very special.
The party will replace the memory of last Christmas, which was probably the saddest Christmas's I'd ever had.
It was beautiful. Thank you!!!

Earlier, Becky's mom said she caught them on the couch, all smashed together...
We took Renee and Jonathon to Primm, then later on we cruised the Strip.
It was very nice, and it was the closest thing we've had to a trip we've in that Mustang convertible.
Renee and Jonathon kissed almost the whole trip from Vegas to Primm (about 40 miles).
Like Becky's mom said, they were all SMASHED TOGETHER.
I told Becky's mom they weren't smashed together, they were just cuddling.
But they were all smashed together into one inseparable blob called a couple on the trip,
which, BTW gives new meaning to the words 'Getting Smashed'
Anyway, I thought that was sweet.

While we were travelling to your Mom's house for your birthday party, we stopped at a left turn light.
We had the top down and your hair wasn't tied.
The girl in the next car said, 'Honey, your hair is going to be in knots'.
Then she tossed us a hair tie. What a sweetheart.
In the car behind her was a family.
The mother was crying, head in her husbands (the driver) chest.
In back were two distraught looking kids.
I wonder, how we can all live in this world, and yet have so many worlds between us.
I saw generousity and dispair, 20 feet apart, at a stop light.

Happy 45th Birthday Becky!!!!

I gave her 45 really hard licks. Then one to grow on!

Her name was Katheren Blount Lassiter.
She also sent a copy of the Skinner Coat of Arms
I'd put the pix on this website but, I just had a slip and fall accident (can still type though).
Squirt had a bone from a ham hock in the hallway. I stepped on it and fell into the furniture.
YOUCH! What a mess!

Thats a hell-of-a-story Warren.
You should write for a living. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
It had all of the intrigue, adventure, and excitement you'd expect in a more published document.
Your words let me into your life, painted the pictures of your surroundings and described very well your situation.
The best part of it all, was that it ended in a good way. (I especially liked the circular reference to the glowing briefcase).

What was hilarious...see, I was editting the same copy of your story...I liked it so much.
HOWEVER, I guess we see what happens in this system when two people are working on the same log record.
Once I figured you were editting it, and thus overlaying any of my mods (I know this editor better), it all came together.
I'll avoid that in the future.
But your story seemed GREAT!
I was doing hilights, and paragraph mods...

BTW: If you do SHIFT ENTER, this editor will drop you down one line instead of two. But the usual way to use it is only to press ENTER when you actually want the end of a paragraph...(weird, I know, its not all my software).

Got the Mustang squared away (except for an oil change).
Removed and repaired the drivers power seat. Purchased extra fuses and tools for $20.
Got the Green Slip, and the plates "BEQUICK" ordered for $120.
Got two extra keys made from Ford for $150.
It pretty much took all day...sheesh.
So far, I've learned a lot about the modern day engines just by using a manual, OBD II reader and some common sense. Oh, hahaha, also, getting $54 from LVDude. Thats kind of nice.
Thanks everybody!!!

With it's petroglyphs and scenic beauty, Sloan Canyon is one of Southern Nevada's most precious natural resources yet few people get the chance to experience it.

The Bureau of Land Management is expecting approval by the end of the year for a plan to make Sloan more accessible to the public.  At the same time -- the BLM hopes to better protect Sloan's historic sites from thieves and vandals.

"We are at Petroglyph Canyon trailhead in Sloan Canyon National Conservation Area," said Robbie McAboy with the BLM, as he escorts an Eyewitness News crew.

Right now the only way to access Sloan Canyon is to hike into the canyon.  There are no paved roads, no trail markers, no visitor's center, no bathrooms and did we mention the rock scrambling?

What would be worse, tommorrow being a failure or tommorrow never coming at all.
Two months ago I almost died. Last month my father died.
I have no career, just dreams of a future. Dad's tour of life is over.
We're all just a few heart beats away from the end so what difference does anything make anyway?
For all we know, this life is a dream and when we die, we wake up.
That's what I prefer to think.
That thought allows me think anything we dream of is possible, even life itself.

I remember when that song came out! I also remember the bathing suits girls would wear back then. Almost all of them were one piece, and it was porn to photograph someone's belly button!

At Frys...now you may be wondering, What the heck is an OBD II?
Well,  it is the latest standard since 1996, for the plug that reads a cars ECR chip. I think I got that right.
Its the same connection used at the smog check stations. The software it fascinating.