You may be a Muslim If:
01. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
02. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
03. You have more wives than teeth.
04. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean. 
05. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
06. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
07. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
08. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
09.You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

The 10 Commandments are just basic manners. If a god has to tell you that, that works for me.
Preservation of the species should be obvious. If Jesus has to tell you to love other people, that works. 
There are many gods, and many heavens. Some don't believe in Messiahs or hell. Read up!
If you believe your religion is the only one, you aren't paying attention.
Stating your religious beliefs as facts is wrong. That means you think you don't have to prove anything you say.
Telling people that god talks to you and not to them, is arrogant.
My Simple Religion
Nature is god. It tells us what to do.
Life is heaven. Look around, its beautiful.
Every day is a miracle. Walking on water does not impress me.
Death is frightening, but it isn't the end of everything. Death only marks the end of a life.
If god has gender, race, or form, it is not obvious to me.
I can't understand god. I will never be smart enough.
Believing this works for me.

Said "Hi" and "Final Farewells" to some very special people.
We've seen some of the prettiest country I've ever seen.
Saw Niagara Falls, Buffalo, Erie, Cleveland, Akron, New York City, Hoboken, Ocean City NJ, Ocean City MD, Annapolis, Washington DC, Ligoneer, Ohio Pyle, Pittsburgh, Mars, Washington, Hershey, Columbus, Louisville, Sparta, Wheeling, Mt Pleasant, New Castle, Franklin...and loved it all.
I think Pennsylvania is a better kept secret than Colorado.
We've seen all four seasons...and they put on a great show!
The birds and flowers and critters were spectacular.
Almost everything here has something special about it...like the flower that had spores that flew 100s of feet in the air.
Its been a very good year.
Special thanks to:
Becky, Georgia, Mikey, Sonny, Rob, Arden, Scott, Jim, Lonnie, Jeff, Tass, Annette, Ida, Ruth, and the wonderful people of Pittsburgh.

Oh the joys of embibing on Christmas Eve!
I bought a bottle of Honey Whiskey...mmmm...so good.
Now, I'm a little out of practice when it comes to drinking, so as I reached for my glass of sparkling honey, I knocked it over onto my keyboard,
thus voiding my warrentee and goobering up my laptop in one swell foop.

My solution......
a wireless keyboard duct taped to the top of my laptop (I could have used bailing wire).
Tell me I'm not an Urban Red Neck.

You still live in my heart, and I will always love you.
Until we meet again my friends, I'll do my best to show your love this year.
And to all of those who are losing loved ones this Christmas Holiday,
use the time you have left to tell them how much of a difference they made in your life.
Don't waste a minute feeling sorry for yourself.

Reality is defined as what a real, not in your head...
But reality became real for me when I was born..and as far as I know, it will be gone whe I die.
Realty for me, will become unreal, so it isn't illogical.

To add to that - I think life is a vacation from whereever we came from.
We are not supposed to live forever, and I think its stupid to want too.

And another thing - The 10 commandments.
These shouldn't be called commandments. They should be called "Manners".
Its rude to kill someone, go after their wife, want their toys, steal from them, lie to them...its just rude.
You won't go to some aweful hell for it, but this planet is too small for a lot of that kind of thinking.

I guess they'd lost touch for 30 years? Wow...anyway...he seemed like a really cool guy! Lots of fun...
and they both lit up like Christmas trees

2010s - Whats coming in:
Keyboardless PCs (exists)
Cell phone projectors (exists)
AI Voice recognation that can replace human translators (exists)
AI Text recognition able to scan any language and understand
AI digitizing of all records from recorded history
Live Global Imaging
Main frame/PC with greater than human intelligence
3D TV flat screen (waiting for communication technology to catch up)
3D TV cube screen  (waiting for communication technology to catch up)
3D TV projection anywhere (waiting for 3D projection system)
Wearable internet, replacing cell phones (getting there)
Eyebuds/sound/audio projection (getting there)
Vehicles that drive themselves (getting there)
Portable solid state pedabyte storage (getting there)
Portable Mortgages
Greyer lines drawn between renters and owners
* (Exists) means its technology is here now, but needs improvement
2010s - Whats going out - Things:
Hard drives, keyboards, mouses, landlines, wire nets, Cell phones, albums, cd's, tape, dvd, blue-ray
Sewage, as we know it
Petroleum fuel
Cash
ID cards
Computer languages
2010s - Whats going out - Business Types:
Video Rental Stores
Delivery Professions
Software resellers
Bookstores
Mortgage Companies
Apartments
Office buildings
2010s - Whats going out - Professions:
Programmers like me
Truck drivers, commercial drivers
2010s - Whats going mobile - Professions:
Doctors
Programmers

1950's 
Beatnics, Marriage, Housewives, college, family, alcohol, cars, Unions, Job Stability, Life Insurance, Racial Prejudice, window fans, Am Radio, Operator phone connections.
Flying car produced, top speed land - 65 mph, top speed air 110 mph, but didn't sell.
New house $8,400. Avg Income $3,200. New Car $1,500.
1960's
Hippies, Sex revolution, Vietnam (war), Kennedy barely wins election, Pot/LSD, Rock-and-Roll, drunks, War, Black and White TV, Tube Radios, Film, Credit Unions, niggers, hippies, tube technology, party lines on your phone, rotary dial, OPEC, aluminum cans, xerox copy machine, welfare rolls.
Aqua car produce, but didn't do very well.
New house $12,700. Avg Income $5,300. New Car $2,600. Interest rate
1970's
High Interest Rates, Stagflation, junkies, pot heads, $40,000 houses, LEDS, Color TV, Mortage Insurance, Racial Riots, red necks, air conditioners, Ethel, transisters, push button phones, princess phones, 10 cent phone booths. Electric Golf Carts.
New house $. Avg Income $. New Car $, Interest rate
1980's
Disco, Microwaves, CDs, BBSs,  coke heads, BetaMax, Huge Cell Phones, $80,000 houses, Chips, Car Insurance, Unleaded Gas, Chip, ATMs, Self Serve Gas Pumps
New house $. Avg Income $. New Car $, Interest rate
1990's
PCs, Internet, Silicon Valley, Yuppies, crack heads, $150,000 houses, Russia, VHS, Insurance on everything, bottled water, welfare reform, Mexican Immigration
New house $. Avg Income $. New Car $, Interest rate
2000's
Cameras everywhere, DVDs, Webcams, Legal  Pot, Instant Messages, Iphone, $300,000 houses to $60,000 houses, no health care without insurance
Letsee...what else can I recall? hmmm

Thinking of going to DC for a few nights.
Might shake hands with the Prez, and sit in Lincoln's lap if I can get up there.

We are on a rock, that's spinning at 1,000 mph,
travelling around the sun at 80,000 mph,
with rocks the size of baseball diamonds coming at us.
with only 2 miles of breathable air above us
And we feel safe.
What could be crazier than that?

Jan, you're incredible! You are just simply awesum!

Around 2002, when I was divorced,
   I called out to you, with an outer force.
I was a drunken net chatter, whose desires were never met, 
   And I remained alone, secure in my motel-like nest.
You came in and you smiled, with one of my others. 
   I took your hand, she got mad, and now we are lovers.
That was 7 years ago and I no longer drink.
   The others have gone. I don't miss a thing.
Cause each day with you, brings me joy I can't describe.
   The sound of you voice, the warmth by your side
We're still a loving couple and I think thats really something, 
   Cause we're over the hill, and we're still humping.

If there is only one past, then isn't it only logical that there is only one future.
I've heard theories about multiple possible futures, but when it arrives, there could have only been one path to it.
So, if there is only one possible future, and one possible past then the present is just a slice of time between in the two.
With this reasoning, we can go as far as to say we are just characters in a play.
People 100 years in the future will be able to look back and see every you thing did, and know that you had to do it for their world to exist.
Everthing that ever will happen in our future, has already happened in someone elses past.
Our consciousnes is taking us through an inevitable series of events.
And whatever we do, we are supposed to do.
Everything is exactly the way it is, because it has to be.
And there is nothing that says destiny had to be created from the past to the future.
It could have been created in reverse.
And I'd be willing to bet that the end of time was conceived first.

Well how about that!!! I remember you very well! Your JavaMan, and you name is all over the web with interesting subjects
You're a genious dude!
I'm wondering how your property in Washington turned out. My Vegas property went from $260k to $60k in value.
Anyway, I'm still here in Pennslyvania, wracking up $ after $. Its been a hoot!
Its cold here. I need to get back down to the southern belt. It would be nice to know if whats turned blue will turn pink again.
Great hearing from you!!!
   From Jim Cutlar, The Las Vegas Dude.

OOOoooooh...you're going to love it Jan. We drove the west coast for the heck of it after my last contact in San Diego.

I was whale watching along the Oregon Coast when the cell phone rings..
The voice says "Hey Jimmy, how would you like to work in Pittsburgh". I said "whhaaaa?"
So I decided to take it.

Along the Oregon/California coastal route, I noticed all of these impoverished coastal towns had three things in common...a convenience store, a hair salon, and a church of sorts.
Some of the churches were in barns, and trailers.
So, I thought, that if this programming gig ever peters out, I'd got ordained as a mininster license. I could go back to Oregon, open up a litte shack.
and call it LVDudes Brotherly Love Shack. I could even have one of those drive through red woods people could get married in...hahahaha.

You will LOVE Carlsebad. That whole area was made for a convertable. I had a six week contract in San Diego, all expense paid, and we spent each weekend in a different motel next to the ocean.
Had the best time of my life there. GOOD LUCK!

Jim Cutlar - 702-203-8258 - blog@lvdude.com