Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!
Free Puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
Free Puppies: Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound. 
Found Dirty White Dog: Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.
Cows, Calves:  Never bred. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
Nordic Track: $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
Georgia Peaches: California grown - 89 cents/lb.
Joining Nudist Colony: Must sell washer and dryer $300.
Wedding Dress For Sale: Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
For Sale By Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything..

Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

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FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

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PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

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TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

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HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

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SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

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WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

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TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

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EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

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HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

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THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

I wonder if Spanish people ever know who deems things male or female. hmmmm....diccionario de los llebster?

I've been putting in some long hours and things have been pretty hectic since we've moved.
I'll get back into the phlog groove once I've gotten Unix down pat, and things wind back down to their normal level of insanity.

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It feels so strange...to have lived in high rises for almost an entire year.
And now, we're living in a nice hotel for who knows how long.

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Love y'all n bgood.

- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says - Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers - Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over - Miners Refuse to Work after Death - Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant - War Dims Hope for Peace - If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile - Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures - Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide - Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges - Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge - New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group - Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft - Kids Make Nutritious Snacks - Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half - Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors - Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting ,'13....13....13'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some moron poked me in the eye with a stick !

Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...

I was shopping at the local super market where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. Can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. Package of bacon.

I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out.
A drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single.
I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me,

I said: 'Well, you know what, you are absolutely right.
But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

What is great about Seattle
- The view from this apartment is incredible.
- Relatives living nearby is awesome.
- Working here has been easy.
- The country side is beautiful.
- Washington is by far the most beautiful state I have ever seen.
What isn't great about Seattle
- Driving here is a mess. I've seen 9 way stops with no lights. People park in the travel lanes.
- Parking is next to impossible, and it is very expensive ($280 a month to park at work).
- The cost of living here is easily twice that of Louisville ($1,200 for a one bedroom).
- Insane and homeless people are everywhere. Most people ignore them. I think its something in the water.
- People yell and fight in the streets.
- People are allowed to sleep on the sidewalks.
- We never found any fun places to go. We saw no bands. We saw no dance floors.
- The buses are overcrowded and are never on time.
- My Identity was stolen here.
- My truck was been burglarized.
- I had to pay for parking at both at my apartment and work.
- I see police stopping drivers every day, while homeless people get away with blocking store exits asking for money.
- I found that most of the people here are either self absorbed or morally bankrupt.
- I had to booby trap my cubical, someone went through my cubical drawers and my personal notes.
- Someone else went through my PC, saw my diary, and told everybody what they found.
- Someone I never talked too, was spreading terrible lies about me through email.
- I'd see people go into my cube when they thought left for a bathroom break.
Seattle is, by far, the scariest place I've ever lived. It really creeps me out.
I don't think I'll be coming back here.
The cities outside of Seattle look great though.
I think I'd love to live in Bellevue, Olympia or Redmond, Wa. They had a normal feel to them.