I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting ,'13....13....13'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some moron poked me in the eye with a stick !

Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...

I was shopping at the local super market where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. Can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. Package of bacon.

I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out.
A drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single.
I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me,

I said: 'Well, you know what, you are absolutely right.
But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

What is great about Seattle
- The view from this apartment is incredible.
- Relatives living nearby is awesome.
- Working here has been easy.
- The country side is beautiful.
- Washington is by far the most beautiful state I have ever seen.
What isn't great about Seattle
- Driving here is a mess. I've seen 9 way stops with no lights. People park in the travel lanes.
- Parking is next to impossible, and it is very expensive ($280 a month to park at work).
- The cost of living here is easily twice that of Louisville ($1,200 for a one bedroom).
- Insane and homeless people are everywhere. Most people ignore them. I think its something in the water.
- People yell and fight in the streets.
- People are allowed to sleep on the sidewalks.
- We never found any fun places to go. We saw no bands. We saw no dance floors.
- The buses are overcrowded and are never on time.
- My Identity was stolen here.
- My truck was been burglarized.
- I had to pay for parking at both at my apartment and work.
- I see police stopping drivers every day, while homeless people get away with blocking store exits asking for money.
- I found that most of the people here are either self absorbed or morally bankrupt.
- I had to booby trap my cubical, someone went through my cubical drawers and my personal notes.
- Someone else went through my PC, saw my diary, and told everybody what they found.
- Someone I never talked too, was spreading terrible lies about me through email.
- I'd see people go into my cube when they thought left for a bathroom break.
Seattle is, by far, the scariest place I've ever lived. It really creeps me out.
I don't think I'll be coming back here.
The cities outside of Seattle look great though.
I think I'd love to live in Bellevue, Olympia or Redmond, Wa. They had a normal feel to them.

No, but they gave us a "gottago" serving of tea at closing.