A paradox is a structure that ends where it begins, like the beginning of a circle.
A paradox is life.
Why should we be necessary to this world. Viruses retain their memories from life time to life time. They infect an absorbent cell. They have no means to reproduce. They just infect. They are the retaineres of the secrets of life.

Ever get stuck on a phrase? The truth is a lie yet discovered.
I love you means that some day I'll hate you.
Someday, never comes!
God is love! And he'll strike you down in hell fire if you don't worship him!
Ya know what I especially love about this life...it's my dog. Squirt loves me unconditionally. He's right here at my feet, right now. He doesn't care that I'm simi-wasted. He's just there, giving me his all.
Most of the people I know now are wonderful
Of all the people I know now, there's only a few that I object too. Even they aren't that bad. They mean good. And, well, isn't that all that counts. Nobody's so smart that they predict how things will fall once an item is laid down.
I think that if we try to do good, without telling everyone that your neighbor Mrs Brown needs to be HUNG
Then you're on the right track! **smiles**

Becky's mom brought Dustin and Jennifer over, then she picked them up four hours later. That was GREAT! I didn't want to be out there driving around.
Robert said Joy's dad (or granddad) wrecked Robert's truck
Uh Oh! That's incredibly bad news. I mentioned quietly destroying the vehicle (like most people do), but now, that's not possible unless the whole thing is totally demolished. sheesh.
I did something terrible.
Robert asked me if he could use my truck. I turned him down. My reasons were thoroughly selfish. Self preservation should be at the top of anyone's list. Giving should be second. If giving is first, then you've got to have faith in God to take care of you. I can't rely on God myself. I just think he acts through me.

I've got to say this!
My dreams about going north, when the roads run out...when I'm at the worlds freezing point is not about me committing suicide...it's about self preservation.
I believe, in 20 years or so, science will have the ability to raise the dead. I would want to be one of exceptional people. You don't get that way by being a meter reader. You get that way by being exceptional or different.
Think about it...why would future society dig you up?

Mike, Becky, Sonny, Joy, Robert, Cheryl, Jan, Rob, Timmy...all you guys
The world works on momentum.
100 years, nothing will matter, except for the way we care about each other.
These moments are so special! Thanks for being in my life!

Mike spent the day with us. Never mind, that I had a few drinks on Wednesday and have to drink to avoid a seizure...never mind that thats just the way it is.
I loved the day because Mike was here. He's just a simple, but beautiful person! So kind. Totally generous. He's just a good man. Like the man I hope I'll be some day.
I've padded my world with people like Mike.
They aren't rich. They aren't exceptional by national standards. They are special by my standards. These are the people I didn't have time for back when I was so busy building a career.

- Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
- Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- Eat crap in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
- If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
- Never buy a car you can't push.
- If you put both feet in your mouth you won't have a leg to stand on
- Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
- Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
- We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
- A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
- Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne?
And here's a hand, my trusty friend And gie's a hand o' thine
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet For auld lang syne
Here's an excerpt from the song I just don't understand
We twa hae run aboot the braes
And pu'd the gowans fine.
We've wandered mony a weary foot, Sin' auld lang syne.
LOL Everyone!

Just be glad you're here and not Phuket, Thailand.

There are 8,000,000,000 people in the world
Our average life span is 76 years old.
8,000,000,000 / 76 / 365 = 288,392 that die every day.
That works out to 20 people a minute.
That's alot!
Where do they go? That's a lot of people!
The Grim Reaper has to be busier than Santa Claus!

Rob was inadvertantly responsible for me writing the code. I wanted to create an online memorial for him. Somewhere along the line, I learned to use Dreamweaver, Visual Studio.net, code HTML and Javascript from memory, and work with the most ugly language I've ever seen, PERL.

For anyone who watches Law & Order (like I do), he played Lenny Brisko.
He was my favorite character on that show.

When someone loves you in spite of yourself. I've got that kind of love coming at me, and coming from me.
That's that special quality...that hug in the night...or that call...or that lick from a dog...that's what makes life special.
I'm rich, not with money, but with people. People (and dogs) are so special.

What I really mean, is what I say...your's are the sweatest eyes, I've ever seen.
And you can tell everybody...that this is my song...It might be quite simple but...now that it's sung...
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words...
HOW WONDERFUL LIFE IS, WHILE YOUR IN THE WORLD!

I drank at least a 12 pack tonight. Didn't hurt anyone.
Becky and I were even up about $200 at one time.
I think we left flat broke, stopped off at a neighbors. I let their kids toss me around.
All-in-all, I'd call the night a drunken success.
Here's to ya, New Years. I'm still around kickin up the dirt!
All ain't lost till its said and done.

We had the Statue of Liberty, the Eiffel Tower and the Great Pyramids here first! lol.
Ok, Mikey's right. Everything about Las Vegas is fake.
I used to work at the Showboat (it was in the middle of the desert).
Try to find anybody who speaks French working at the Paris Hotel/Casino; you won't.
Celebrating my first day of sobriety today
I drank a six pack yesterday and a six pack on Christmas. That may not seem like much, but, to an old geezer like me, it is. It looks like its going to be a gloomy week in Vegas, weatherwise.
Rain is predicted for most of the week. It's sprinkling now and the world seems to have a gray hue to it. At least we're not having earthquakes of 9th magnitude. Ewwe.

Hey Mikey, I thought Law and Order was filmed right there in Los Angeles. We were at Universal Studios and they had signs made up, and a little New York sprawlled out. To look at the way they've got it all set up, you'd think the Dinosaurs on Jurrasic Park were only 2" tall

Yesterday was FUN! Chuck, Patty, Michelle and Sonny came over. Later, Becky and I went to Grams to hook up with Paul, Jennifer, Dustin, George, D.O.G., Amy, Robert, Joy, Skip, and lets see...who else. It was a very special day.
Today, however, I've got a little beer hangover.
That means...I'm not doing anything today haha (except for maybe playing computer games and watching tube).
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Nobody's called yet. Becky and I are up and dressed in Christmas colors. The presents are all wrapped. My turkey has been smoking in applewood for over 24 hours (it should be done by now).
The highlight of today will probably be watching Becky's little ones open their presents.
It's 40 degrees outside, so, it's going to be a chilly one today here in Las Vegas.
Ya'll have a nice Christmas, ya hear!

I got on the phone and called several people (Butch, Lewis, Newberry,...), asking them the jovial question "Name 10 things you shouldn't do with your pecker". I said, you should never pick a door lock with it, cause you don't know if someone's going to open it. And don't use it as a meat thermometer, or a voltage tester. Now, maybe my sense of humor is kind of wry, but I thought it was funny. Plus, I always like it when people I haven't heard from call me out of the blue.
Robert, Joy, Amy, Rico and some other people came over last night
We shot off 1,000 firecrackers before the police came over. Ricco ran like a deer to his house. I had a push broom out cleaning up the mess. The cops asked if I expoded the firecrackers and I lied...said, nope, someone driving by did it, they must have liked my dumpster. Then I hosed everything down. Never tell a policeman the truth. It always works against you. :)
Took some sleeping pills, passed out. Woke up and Becky was sleeping on the couch.
I asked her "WHY?". She said I was sprawled out on the bed, hard as a rock. She couldn't budge me an inch. So the couch was her bed. She stayed up till 5am. First time that's ever happened. We've been sleeping together every night for 4 years now. Hmmm. Guess those internet sleeping pills work better than I thought! My eyes have been all puffy lately
Is eggnog allergenic? That's about the only thing I could think of that I've consumed thats different. Hmmmm.

Can't roll it, so we're having to put it into a pipe to light it. lol.
I wrote a program to create HTML Web pages from pictures
It works great here. I put a web page of News Years Eve pics out there. It took an hour to upload. Most of the pictures I saved on my site don't display at all. Some do, which makes it a curiosity to me. Click here to see what I mean.
It has to be my website's host (Earthlink). I've wasted a lot of time trying to get around Earthlink's case-sensitive unix based server. I've had to rewrite my site at least 30 times to get something to work. What a pain! I always have to do some type of voodoo to make things work after I upload. I need a new web host!
Another Christmas away from home
I only received cards from solicitors. I accomplished dream. I've become a nobody. It took some time and effort. I've finally fallen off the face of the earth.
If anybody does read this blog anymore (which I doubt)...be careful what you wish for, you may get it. The Christmas parties are gone (the ones where everybody is happy to see me). No one writes. I burned my bridges to find out who I was when I wasn't standing on someone elses shoulders. I feel like a nobody.
Back when I was breaking up with Ruth in 2000, my world was falling apart.
I didn't want anybody to see that happen to me. I broke off all my contacts and more or less crawlled into a hole, here inside this house. Rob was one of the few people I would talk to. He came over to check on me one time when I didn't answer my phone for a week. I guess he thought I killed myself or something. I should have been worried about him as it turned out. Who'd ever think that Rob would off himself during the holidays.
Another Christmas farther away from home
Christmas seems to morph itself every year. Skip just got up and said "ALRIGHT. PEOPLE!". He's been lusting over that ham we've been smoking. He wanted some and he just got some. yum.
I did a no-no last night. I got my dog disgustingly drunk.
Squirt and I were playing tug-of-war with a rope. He fell over, knocking down my Eggnog. It spilled everywhere. I mopped it up, put it into a bowl, and gave it to him. He'd get up on the couch and stare at a pillow. lol. I'm so bad.